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The other day I was trying to tell a sexist joke to my girlfriend. I set the joke up by telling her my mom had recently called me a misogynist and I had responded to my mom by saying, "Now how'd a little woman like yourself learn a big word like 'misogynist'?" Expecting some form of an, “Oh my gosh please" reaction from my girlfriend, she just stared at me. Finally she asks "Wait, what does misogynist mean?"


My girlfriend just proudly told me she has finished reading all the Twilight novels. She then said "I don't know what I'm going to do now?". I suggested she read The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings trilogy. She quickly responded, in a very patronizing tone "I'm not going to read wizard books!"


After having some kinky sex one day, my girlfriend and I decided we should break up for college. After agreeing that it was for the best I got up to get a drink and she informed me that the handcuffs had left marks on her wrists. Without thinking I replied, "I should really put some electrical tape on those or something. You know, for the future." She cried. A lot.


One night I was at a friend’s party playing man hunt. (And If you don't know what man hunt is, it's pretty much hide go seek at night… and for drunk people). Anyway me and my girlfriend ran out into a huge field and laid in the grass to hide. A couple hours past and no one found us. So we decided to get a little frisky in the foliage. A couple more hours pass, and we eventually fall asleep with the aid of the previously consumed booze. We eventually wake up the next morning and laugh at what we had done. When we got back to my friend’s place she said she didn’t know what happened to us, and thought we were hurt or dead. She even called the police, and there was a bulletin on the news. With all this going on… I wondered why didn’t they call us?


After a hard night of partying and drinking way too much. I ended up pissing the bed that me and my girlfriend were in. The weird thing is she didn't seem to mind, and didn't tell me until i woke up in the morning. I don't know if she is weird or perfect.