It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 7 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
I Love My Girlfriend, Most of the Time
5 years ago when I was attending my last year of boarding high school I was kicked off the hockey team for sending another teams captain and coach to the hospital after they instructed their team to trip, check from behind, and slash our team. I was, at the time, 6'2" 190 and the best defense the school had ever seen. My roommate was in charge of sharpening the skates before every game and after every 3 practices. Before the 2nd to last game (very important) I offered to do the skate sharpening for my roommate so he could sleep. After sharpening all the skates I put a very thin layer of clear dry glue on the dominant edge (inner side of the blade) of each players skates. It was amazing watching the whole team consistently face plant all over the ice. Sorry you all didn't make it to state for the first time in 10 years. Sorry roomie that you got fired from the hockey team work study. Sorry coach you lost your job. Next time don't kick your #1 player off for inducing justice.
As opposed to the ever growing douch-baggedness of the confessions on this series, I have an old school prank confession. Me and a bunch of my buddies managed to get a hold of some saran wrap (compliments of the director of food services) and we covered all of this kid's stuff with it. Desk, bed, rolling chair, we got it all. But before we did that, we took all his sheets, pillows, laptop, and desk accessories and put them in his closet. Before duct taping the hole in the wall that was the closet we put this one girl in there and duct taped her in. We did all this while this kid, who was a good friend of all of us, was in the bathroom/showering. Needless to say, he was shocked. But nothing could ever beat his reaction when the girl popped out of his sheets/pillows while he was de-taping his closet. The kid got his revenge though. Being best described as Walter Kowolski from Gran Tarino, he beat the crap out of all of us with his belt.
Franchise X from Siena College
My roommate at the fraternity this summer was a b*tch. He complained that he needed constant light and sound to sleep at night, so the Disney Channel would be blaring at full volume 24-7. He was a huge slob too, leaving week-old pizza boxes and dirty laundry all over the place. He left the whole mess behind when he went to study abroad. One night, my best friend/greek little sister got sexiled, so naturally I let her crash on my couch. Little did I know she would decide to sleepwalk across the room in the middle of the night, drop her
shorts, and piss in my roommates dirty laundry hamper. I couldn't be more proud of my lil sis.
N.E. from Washington
My next door neighbor, a latino who also happens to be my class-mate, was the perfect image of being a decent and honest guy. He did steal my watch once but it's OK 'cos when I found it in his room he fessed up saying it was by "mistake". Well he showed up his ugly side when one time when I met him in this latino bar where I took my girl to enjoy a couple of drinks and dance a few rounds of Salsa. We were kinda shocked to watch this arse-hole stealing other people's drinks right under their noses and getting drunker by the second. I'd had enough when he stole our Mojitos and then decided to paw my girl right in-front of me! I bought a can of 11% beer, emptied 3/4ths and peed in it to fill it up again, and put the can near his reach. Sure enough a bit later the fucker picked it up and drank it all! Two days later, hell of a lot more sober, he comes up to us and politely invites us both for a couple of drinks at the same bar again.yeah
Max R. from INSA
A few years back my pre-med. girlfriend and I decided to move in together, in the process moving her out of an apartment shared with two pre-pharmacy women who were angry at life. They once chewed my girlfriend's ass when I emptied the dishwasher. On move out day my dad, who is French, drove over two and a half hours to help out and the lovely duo thought it would be hilarious to make fun of his accent all morning. They left for the weekend. I proceeded to squeeze mayo into all couch cushions, unplug the recently filled fridge and left the doors open, easy-cheese the electric floor heaters, play poop hockey with their toothbrushes, and left the poop. One month later we had a small broken desk on our lawn. They think they got even. They brushed their teeth with my poop. We were reminded of this because my doctor wife just called in a patient's prescription to the pharmacy, the $12 an hour tech was her old roommate – congrats on your success poop breath.
Dr. S from SCSU
Submit yours here!