?1. Dane Cook and his fans – No, he isn't funny. See that cliff over there? I bet there's a decent sense of humor on the bottom. Why don't you go jump off and find out.


2. Katy Perry's face – Am I the only one that is creeped out by her face? She looks like a  child-molester mannequin. Ya know, if mannequins could molest children. I sure as hell wouldn't let my kids around a child-molesting mannequin.


3. People who spaz out when I tell them I'm a vegetarian – It's my life. I'll eat what I want. I'll keep your shitty advice of "Dude…you're gonna like die from lack of protein. You should like, go eat a cow or something," into consideration. Just kidding. You're an idiot and if you have a problem with me being a vegetarian, you can stick your baby back ribs up your ass. Thanks.


4. People who have a problem with my "Pottymouth" – No I don't give a shit if you have a problem with my "offensive language" and no, I'm not going to watch my language around your kids. Sooner or later they'll be hearing all of it. So instead of giving me a dirty-ass look, you should be thanking me for preparing your children for life. Your welcome. 


5. Friends who say I'm like the nicest guy they've ever met. – I get it alot but you obviously don't know me well enough. Just ask my family.


6. People who tell me to put my shirt on – Yeah, I like to go shirtless. Don't give me a dirty look because I don't have a rock hard 18 pack and double D pecs. If I want to show off my slightly-defined abs almost non existant biceps, I will.


7. Bitching about your life on facebook – Either you know those people whose every status is something like "Ahh my life sucks yo :(" or "Today was the worst. I got in a minor accident and now have a small dent in my $30,000 car that my parents just bought me" or you are that person. I literally hate those people. Look, I can understand if you are having a shitty day and feel like telling everyone but when almost EVERY status is just depressing, you just look like bitch. Sack up and stop bitching.


8. People who will be offended reading this. –  If it has to do with my "pottymouth", read 4. If it's something else, I still couldn't give a shit. 


More to come.