·   DO be up early, to get a good spot.

·   DON’T stay up drinking the entire night before in order to be up early.

·   DO make sure that all the grilled meat is thoroughly cooked.

·   DON’T ask your friend's mom if she wants your meat.

·   DO drink responsibly.

·   DON’T call dibs on the keg.

·   DO pick up all your trash when done tailgating.

·   DON'T put all your trash in a pile and burn it before the game.

·   DO sing the your school's fight song every time your team scores.

·   DON'T headbutt random strangers after every first down.

·   DO be respectful to the opposing team.

·   DON'T continue to make sexual advances toward your friend’s mother.

·   DO make sure to use the bathroom before halftime to avoid the rush.

·   DON’T urinate on a fire hydrant and say you're doing your impression of a dog.

·   DO have a good time with your friends.

·   DON'T verbally berate your friends when they won’t let you stand on their shoulders to get a better view.

·   DO rush the field if your team wins the game.

·   DON'T streak the field with 30 seconds left.

·   DO hang your head in shame if your team loses.

·   DON'T follow up on all those overt attempts at nailing your friend’s mother if your team loses. Unless she’s really hot. In which case: DO. DO DO DO DO DO.

(I thought illustrations for each would be nice, but if it would be too difficult they're not necessary.)