WHY EAR SEX IS BETTER THAN VAGINAL


1. BUILT IN DIAPHRAGM:

Though traditionally considered an instrument of audition, the tympanic membrane, or eardrum, also has many sexual uses. As a natural contraceptive, it blocks the transfer of bodily fluids more reliably than condoms or latex diaphragms and with less hassle. Consequently, practitioners of ear sex have a remarkably low chance of contracting STIs or pregnancy.


2. TIGHT ORIFICE:

The comparitively small size of the ear canal provides high "tightness" and therefore pleasure to the male sexual partner. Also, unlike the vagina, the ear canal is surrounded by bone and will thus never lose its tight embrace.


3. EGO BOOST:

Though some men report difficulty in fitting their erect penis into a virgin ear canal, they tend to display pride in the fact that they are "too big to fit."


4. EAR WAX:

Ear wax, the natural lubricant of the ear, is typically present throughout the day and thus does not require sexual arousal in the female partner, thereby rendering foreplay obsolete and saving males much time and effort. Ear wax is also a natural spermicide and further reduces chances of pregnancy.


CRITICISMS:

Due to the relatively low count of nerve endings in the ear canal (compared to the vagina), women have reported a low liklihood of achieving orgasm or experiencing any positive stimulation at all. There is also a high, if not certain chance of severe brain damage for the receiving partner. However such criticisms have been largely disregarded by the male community as irrelevant or even beneficial.