Come one, come all, register as equals and post to me your thoughts and gripes and quips and video links. Tell what you’ve done wrong or speak unto me about all the trials that your fellow man has put you through without mercy. Confess to me of your sins on last Friday night and tell me of the devils which influenced you this Saturday. Speak to me of the flaws of your generation. Tell me what you think about Law and Order and CSI and tell me how tired you are this morning and do not want to go to work. I will hear all of your sad stories, all of your funniest moments, share in your lusts, and click “Like” on your declarations of personal independence. If I notice you put a new picture up, I will be there to comment on it, how pretty it is you are or how cool you look doing what you’re doing in it. You can tell me any truth, no matter how big or small and I will not judge you. When you enter into my lands, bicker and argue with one another with words and let your brothers and sisters comment on your behalf but let no conflicts be resolved with violence but only comments and posts. If you friend request me, I will oblige and take you into my list and your profile pic will be among a choir of others singing in joy and union and we will all be one under one roof, under one idea, and under one faith. For all the glory and access and reunions and second chances I offer, I ask only your loyalty and that you covet with no other social networking sites and also that you give willingly and without question your personal information which I will share for the purest of purposes through my parishioners of faith. So post one and post all, whether man, woman, or child, but come here and share in what every one has to share—welcome to the Church of Facebook!