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So our RA makes a bet with the floor that if anyone can duct tape him inside his room, he'll buy the whole floor pizza. He reasoned that since the doors opened inward and he had a knife, he'd be able to cut his way out no matter how much duct tape was used to block the door. Well, he failed to realize that the bathroom (which had a second entrance) was right across the hallway, also with a door that opened inward. So my roommate and I made a strong chain of duct tape that attached the two doorhandles to each other, so that when he pulled on his door, it was pulling the bathroom door shut. Boy, that pizza was good.

James H.

A couple of years ago, my boyfriend let one of his co-workers move into our spare bedroom, because the guy was down on his luck and had been thrown out of his home. It soon became clear why. He was 40 years old, still lived with his mother, never bathed, never cleaned his room, smoked in the house even though we forbid it, and did nothing but play video games when he wasn't at work. He never bought groceries. We asked him countless times to change his act. The last straw was when I woke up late one night that my boyfriend was at work and found him sitting in my room, staring at me, and asking for a lighter. We went into his room the next day and found (amongst the trash) a coffee can full of cooking oil in his closet! We had a good idea what he used it for. So we poured bleach in it. That same night, we heard him start screaming and he called his mother to take him to the hospital. When we asked him what was wrong, he was holding his crotch in tears. He moved out the next week.
H. C.

My sophomore year I was rooming with a guy I met my first year of college. He was against all fun. One night I gathered a few friends to crash in my room we took the labels off rootbeer bottles and scattered them around the room, one guy and girl were sleeping in their undies in my bed. While a girl was asleep on the floor wearing his tee-shirt, a guy climbed into bed with him. We littered the room with condoms. We also placed sugar in lines on his dresser. We messed with his clock so that his thought he was late for class. When he woke up I was not in the room but in the bathroom with my head in the toilet. He went into the bathroom woke me up pissed off and asked what happened, I told him I didn't remember. He ran off to get to his class, in the ten minutes it took him to realize the actual time we cleaned the room up. When he got back in he asked me what just happened, i played dumb. To this day we have never talked about it again.
Michael Smith from UIS

One of my roommates was literally the nastiest person this world has ever seen. He was a 5'5", white as a ghost, 110 pound ging. He would walk around the house in his kick boxing shorts rubbing his stomach hair all the time. On top of being the most disgusting man on the face of the Earth, he was also the biggest slob I've ever met. My other roommates and I were getting really sick of him, so
each and every night, we would walk in and pee on his bed. Being the disgusting human being that he is, he never noticed. The best part about it was after a few weeks he began itching all the time. He told us that this used to happen when he was a little kid and wet himself all the time. Looks like somethings never change…..
Chad Bartlett from University of Northern Iowa

My roommate was the huge seven foot tall football player and i am and was the ninety pound weakling we got along great he took me with him to parties i would have gotten invited otherwise and i helped him with school. anyway . So one night i am laying bed reading a book for english class i start to doze off and my head slips off my arm and i fall off the top bunk and knock myself out on the desk next to our beds. anyway i wake up and my roommate is carrying me crying his eyes out screaming Karls Dead after a few more times of screaming a nurseing major comes over and sees i am stunned but clearly alive after he informs my roomate he says i should get to the hospital for the giant gash on my forehead my roomate and the nurseing major go to his car and he literally held me for the entire trip to the hospital. After getting patched up we head back to campus. Where he then confess he's in love with me. i had to live with him for a whoe semester after i said i wasn't gay.
Karl Di milo

My room mate was this super high strung over achiever he went to be at about ten every night so he could rested for his classes well the night before finals after her went to sleep i changed to time on his alarm clock by about six or seven hours and set the alarm to go off when the clock said 1:00 which was actually about six in the morning anyway i go to bed and wake up at 5:30 knowing whats about to happen i stay up and watch as he freaks out he literally leapt out of bed and ran out into the snow in his boxers and ran all the way to his class holding a pencil and a graphing calculater.
Alex Tellenski

My roommate and I were hanging out in our room when our fat ugly neighbor came over and offered him some ambian to fuck him up. He took 2 and waited about an hour for them to kick in. Myself and one other guy realized that she was starting to act very seductive toward him, so we decided to leave for a while and let things play out. When we came back we peeked in to see if the unthinkable was happening and she was topless on top of him. We turned around and booked it down the hall. A few moments later she ran out of the room and screamed at me to go sleep in another room, and said that she was going right back as soon as she took out her tampon (she clearly hasn't gotten laid in a LONG time and this was a rare opportunity). Three condoms were found on the floor in the morning and one in the urinal down the hall. My roommate has no recollection of any of this happening.(So he says)
darin gilman from University of Nevada, Reno

My roommate is actually pretty cool, but I live in an apartment and so my five other roommates and I decided to play a prank on this one kid for no other reason than he's a little bit too self-righteous. Like he would come home and hear us playing music with "questionable taste" and give us crap for staying out late with chicks….. so I decided to use the textfree app on my itouch and started texting him, claiming to be this really hot girl that we all know. he had no idea it was me the whole time, and the best part is, this little alter boy would say the nastiest things to this girl that he's never even talked to in person. Well his pestering got to be way annoying so I copied the conversation and posted it all over our building.
TIM JACKSON from NYU



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