Games

Amir: Hey Jake?

Jake: What?

Amir: You ever played 'Doctors and Nurses'?

Jake: What? Sighs I dunno, man. Maybe when I was younger.

Amir: Haha, great! Great. Cos I was playing today with Sarah and Sweeter.

Jake: Streeter.

Amir tilts his head to the side and looks off into the distance

Jake: So?

Amir: So shut up, twinkletoes!

Jake: Twinkletoes?

Amir: I'm having a flashback!

Amir is standing with Sarah and Streeter in a conference room

Amir: Hey guys, wanna play 'Doctors and Nurses'?

Sarah: Of course, Amir, anything for you!

Streeter: Yeah! But, I dunno how to play!

Sarah: Me neither!

Sarah: …Wait a minute…

Sarah is suddenly wearing a nurse's uniform

Sarah: I ampushes up boobs and does a sexy pout…nurse!

Streeter: Yeah, and I am…puts a strap-on siren on his head, and rubs his stomach…an ambulance!

Amir smiles

Amir: Close enough, guys, close enough.

Back at Jake's and Amir's desks…

Jake: So you were feebly trying to mask that you think Sarah's a slut, and Streeter's fat?

Amir: Haha, gorsh, no! I'm flat-out saying they're collectively a slut and fat.

Jake: Sighs What did they do?

Amir: They…they called me a Jew.

Amir looks away as though he's trying to hide his tears

Jake: What?!

Amir: Yeah, they said, 'You Jew!'…'You…', well, they said, 'Your work is due', which is kinda the same thing.

Jake: Wow. OK. It's really not.

Amir: Don't worry, Jakey, cos I got them back by stealing the deeds to CollegeHumor!

Amir smiles broadily and pulls out several sheets of paper, held together with a staple

Jake: What?! How did you get those?!

Amir: Funny story, actually. My cousin Leron was in town…

Jake: You know what? I don't wanna know. Just give me those back.

Jake stretches for the papers, Amir resists

Amir: No! I can't give you them back, cos I didn't steal them from you! Go steal your own copy of someone's deeds!

Jake grabs hold of the papers by the edges

Jake: Just give them to me!…Ow!

Jake slits his left palm open and blood pours out

Amir: Alright, here! If you're gonna be a bitch about it…

Amir hands the deeds to Jake's right hand

Jake: Can you at least get me a cloth or something?!

Amir: Hey Jake, you know what game you'd be good at? 'Period'.

Jake: Oh, ha-ha, cos i'm in pain?

Amir: No, cos you're gushing blood everywhere, BITCH! In Southern accent We got a gusher 'ere, boys! 

Jake:  Gross.

Amir: Haha! Gross. In New York accent Gross-sauce.