From the desk of Joe Kartikul
I used to feel bad about throwing food away, until I realized that I'm not wasting it, I'm making sure poor people can't have it.
Curiosity killed my cat, and my best friend. I really should've named my alligator something else.
I never knew what my dad meant when he said "You got to spend money to make money" until he got arrested for counterfeiting.
My grandfather mixed his advice with Alzheimer's at the end. Now I know that a penny saved is a lobster.
My girlfriend and I do it missionary all the time. I tell her how my beliefs are right, and she slams the door in my face.
Living with OCD can be a pretty difficult disorder to endure. It certainly makes for a hard knock knock knock life.
I'm really hoping Michael Douglas wins his battle with cancer. Who else am I going to confuse Martin Sheen with?
I absolutely hate setting a bad example for kids. That’s why I feel so bad about not wearing a seat belt when I pleasure myself in the school parking lot.