Cynthia: Hey look at Wendell walking down the street alone, he's so brave.

Stephanie: And smart, there's no one to slow him down, he's getting maximum candy.

Cynthia: Look at how he eats his candy and litters the wrappers as he goes. He doesn't follow any rules!

(Across the street, Wendell rings a doorbell. A man answers.)


Man: Ah! You scared me, with your costume. Not the way you smell. Like milk.

Wendell: Trick or treat.

Man: You are not too old for this at all. Good move carrying two pillow cases by the way, let me give you some more candy for those.

Stephanie: He's cleaning up! And look at that costume, it's so retro and original. A ghost.

Cynthia: Did you see all the semen stains on his bed sheet? He must get laid all the time.

Stephanie: I know I'd bone him.

Cynthia: Ditto. I just had an orgasm thinking about it.

Stephanie: We should show him our boobs sometime.

Randy: Why do you guys like Wendell? He doesn't have any friends. He's not even invited to my Halloween party tonight.

Cynthia: Maybe he didn't wanna come cause you're party is gay and I don't wanna go out with you anymore.

Randy: Fair enough. I'm so stupid and I don't even own a bow staff, while Wendell has 3.

(Wendell rings another doorbell. An old woman answers.)

Woman: Wow, this is your third time coming to my house. And I respect your persistence! Here's the King Size candy bar I've been hiding.


Stephanie: That was so impressive.

Randy: Did you guys know I have a vagina?

(Wendell goes to ring a doorbell but sees a bowl of candy with a note by the door.)

Note: Please take one, unless you're Wendell Blatt in which case the whole bucket is yours. And you only get bad grades in math cause the teacher is dumb, not you.

Cynthia: Whoa, is that Wendell's mom talking to those high school boys down the street?

Stephanie: Don't worry, there's gotta be a good reason.

(Down the street.)

Mrs. Blatt: So long story short, you guys can't come over anymore, Wendell's dad is moving back in.

High School Boy: We will never come to the house again.

Mrs. Blatt: And Mr. Blatt is getting a new used Daewoo and it's super fast and awesome and Wendell can ride in the front seat.

High School Boy: Daewoo's are great cars. Sure they're inexpensive, but they're well made. What's wrong with a bargain?

Mrs. Blatt: Yes, nothing is wrong with a good bargain. Remember, don't come to the house anymore.

High School Boy: Never again.