Dear Mom and Dad,

            Ever since I came to college, I’ve been seeing this girl named Mary just about every day. I’m going to blunt with you, we’re joint at the hit hip; absolutely inseparable. Boy, does she ever make me happy! Her presence always provokes so much laughter, at times side-splitting and uncontrollable. And I don’t want to brag, but she is definitely the most popular girl at school. She gets around a lot, but I don’t mind because she’s smokin’ hot and I know she loves me most. Not to mention she’s extremely intelligent. She always challenges me to expand my mind, develop new ideas and look at the world in a whole new perspective. Though, I can never seem to recall these experiences. Dad I think you’d really like her; she’s really into nature and going green. And mom don’t worry about me eating too little, when I’m with Mary our appetites are insatiable. Honestly, I don’t understand how she stays so blazing hot.

            I met her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Jane, last weekend so I know she comes from good stalk. They made us a 3 course meal beginning with a palatable bag of nacho cheese Doritos, then a succulent 6-pack of fruit gushers, all topped off by a batch of Mrs. Jane’s legendary brownies. Mom, you should seriously acquire this recipe, Mrs. Jane said she got it from her family in Amsterdam.

            I’m writing you this letter because I really don’t think I could face you when I’m around her. But I do want you to meet her, everyone thinks she’s awesome.

Love your son,

            Will Tokeson

P.S.

Do you think it would be ok if over break I took the red eye flight to visit her?