George Washington: Oh, wow. My birthday is coming up. February 22nd. I would have been two-hundred and seventy years old this year.
Abraham Lincoln: That's great, George. Do you have anything to say to me?
George: What are you talking about?
Abe: I don't know. Just maybe something that happened a few days ago.
George: Dude, you're gonna have to spell it out.
Abe: My birthday was on February 12th George. You never said anything. You never gave me a gift or a card.
George: Oh jeez Abe. I'm sorry, man. But you know February is kind of my month.
Abe: First of all, that's just not even true. February is Black History Month.
George: Don't even try to pin that on me Mr. Emancipation Proclamation.
Abe: No, George! You're missing the point! All I want is a little recognition. What if we have a joint birthday party this year? We can celebrate it on the third Monday of February this year and in all subsequent years too!
George: I don't know Abe. Why does my birthday always have to be on a Monday? Everyone hates Mondays.
Abe: Yeah, but George. If we don't do it this way, it will really disrupt the work week. Come on, stop being unpatriotic.
George: You're right. Having holidays on the days they actually occur is as un-American as Al-Qaeda or Barack Obama.
Abe: Actually Barack Obama is American. He's running for President.
George: Whatever. I'm still on the one dollar bill bitches!