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I was dating a girl for about 6 months and everything was great. But then we started to fight over little things. One thing was how I told her not to text while she's driving because I didn't want her to get hurt. She proceeded to tell me that she hated how I never took her side and how I sound like her dad lecturing her. About two weeks after she left me for a guy she knew at work, she got in a car accident that totaled her car. She was fine, and even though I'll never be able to prove it, I'm pretty sure she was texting.
A few months ago, some friends and I were over at another friend's house. We were downstairs sleeping while the friend whose house we were at was upstairs watching a movie with a girl. Suddenly, we're all awoken by both of them screaming. Thinking there's some sort of hook-handed murderer rampaging through the house, we run upstairs to see what happened. It turns out that my friend thought it would be a good idea to "flex" his boner in front of this girl, which resulted in her getting scared and punching him square in the balls.
I went on a first date with a guy I had known for a few years and had always had some chemistry with. During dinner, he went into detail about how good he was in bed, how long he could last, and how many orgasms he could give a girl. Intrigued, we went back to my place and started going at it. Less than three minutes later, I turned over and pretended to sleep so I didn't have to keep hearing him apologize for his premature ejaculation.
When I was still in high school my girlfriend and I were having sex in her bed while her crazy, controlling, extremely religious and right wing parents were out. In my rush to get the condom on, I must have thrown the wrapper in a black hole because we spent the next 45 minutes looking for it. We abandoned our search under the impression that "If we can't find it, how would her parents??" 10 minute after I got home my parents sat me down and said they got a call from her parents. They proceeded to have a two hour conversation with me about sex. My mom cried. My girlfriend's parents never let me see her again.
I just woke up with my girlfriend giving me head. After I finished, she kissed me, pulled her head away, and said, "EWW morning breath!" Yeah, dick breath is so much better…
I read my girlfriend's phone messages and found out she's cheating on me and planning a surprise b-day party for me at the same time