Live from the internet, it's 105%!
I saw a really old picture of a guy working out. He was quite sepia toned.
Some things are better left unsaid. Like cliches.
I park in handicapped spots, which I think is fine because I'm morally handicapped.
Don't cry over spilled milk, unless your friend is drowning in it.
In Australia, when playing chess, they have to say "checkmate" and "checkmatemate" to avoid confusion.
Is it still considered manslaughter if it's a woman? And if it's on purpose?
Music to My FearsI'm a classically trained pianist. Whenever I made a mistake, my father beat me with "War and Peace."
My best friend and I once got into an argument, where he told me that I never listen and only hear what I want to hear. Then he retracted it and complemented me on the size of my penis.