Germany – The business student. Has a freakish understanding of economics alongside a surprisingly humanitarian facet of his personality. Has a very eclectic taste in music, and electronica, industrial metal, or Wagner blares out of his room at any time during the day. May seem cold and reserved, but actually a great drinking buddy.

United Kingdom – The creepy military history buff in one of the rooms in the attic. No one is sure what she studies. Guesses range from history, to economics, to political science, to failing culinary studies. The UK has a lot of nit-picky rules about how to interact with her, and the list of "schemes" on her door – detailing how how long visitors may stay and behave – are strangely specific. Rumor has it she's going to put up a whole lot more rules sometime soon, especially since she's been on a huge Ayn Rand binge. Has an outdated fixation on royalty and gets infuriated when it's brought up. Loves a good beer, but feels extremely guilty about it at the same time. No one is quite sure whether or not she likes France.

France – The hedonist of the house. She is very high-maintenance and very self-concerned. She speaks in a fancy accent, so you know there's money in the family. She majors in art history, but hasn't created anything resembling a human for a while. For all of that, she's welcoming to visitors and will show you a good time, no matter where you are inside of her.

Italy – The most charming one out of the group. Has a fantastic sense of fashion – but no one knows how she affords it – and knows the best places to go for a great night out  in any situation with any group of people. Very touchy-feely. Italy's the film student of the house, and, while she prefers the Italian cinema, sees nothing wrong with a little ridiculous cheese every now and then. She occasionally says something that paints her as a casual racist. No one is sure how to take this, and it makes England very, very uncomfortable.

Greece – Greece used to be a spectacular over-achiever. But, starting in freshman year of high school, she got into a lot of drama with her neighbor, Turkey. As the drama progressed and Greece was branded "troubled," she started slacking off. In college, she's undeclared and spends most of her time sitting around the house smoking in the living room. Doesn't do the dishes, and occasionally starts kitchen fires. Has been known to ask the other household members for rent and grocery money. However, Greece is the most gregarious and likable of all the housemates, so she gets away with a lot.

Portugal – Lives in the basement. No one knows what he does.

Eire – The frat boy of the group, but not the destructive sort. (Those are the Yanks across the street.) Eire is more a Bluto sort of frat boy. His room is covered in whiskey and beer memorabilia, intermixed with crosses, cruciforms, and saint icons. Majors in finance and passes half his classes. Lives in the room next to the UK and generally infuriates her with the blaring sound of fiddles and pipes, accompanied by the drunken stomping and howling of his friends. Goes on benders every weekend, but manages to make it to mass every Sunday morning, and gets offended whenever the UK brings up agnosticism and the Anglican Church. Unhealthy obsession with green.

Spain – Spain rarely meets rent. He used to wander around a lot and get into a lot of fights with the rest of the housemates (applicable to everyone else) but has since calmed down. Occasionally goes to class, but more often manages and plays intramural soccer. Most often seen passed out around the house and spending a lot of time in other housemates' rooms. Throws a lot of house parties, most of which are disdainfully looked upon by the UK.

Denmark – Keeps his room very cold. Often confused with Norway, and spends a lot of time explaining just why he does not walk around with a Viking helmet on. Also spends a lot of time explaining that he is not the Netherlands and does not smoke nearly as much pot as people think he does.

Netherlands – Has a room at the top of the house. Suspicious-smelling clouds seep out from the crack of the door every day around half-past four, usually accompanied by a Grateful Dead or Phish record. Netherlands's room is dark and hot, and some pretty shady visitors come and go. Housemates who enter usually aren't seen from anywhere from six hours to a few days. Majoring in botany and widely seen by the housemates as the most laid-back person in the house, and, quite possibly, the smartest and happiest.

Luxembourg – An alcoholic midget with a blues fixation.

Norway – Dresses in black, has white contacts, and listens to bands featuring [redacted] and [redacted] on their album covers. Drinks a lot of red wine, glares at churches. Is, surprisingly, one of the most relaxed people in the house.

Sweden – Double majors in photography and acting. She has a successful modeling career and, while she enjoys Norway's music, prefers her own metal to be a bit more symphonic.

Belgium – Lives in the basement. Insists on house meetings to be held in his room. "Because I have great couches and lots of good lighting. Also cameras to make sure that everything's documented." By and large a likable person with good taste, but oddly protective of his computer.