It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 8 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
Evan R. from UNH
My sophomore year at college I had a roommate named Chrisy. She did a bunch of little things like drinking all of my soda but complaining that it wasn't diet and I should get diet next time. And leaving hair in the shower drain. But the one big thing is that she saved my credit card number and use it to buy makeup, clothes, lingerie you name it. So the day after I found out, I went out and bought some soda (diet of coarse) and I put testosterone pills I bought at a drug store and I put them in the soda, so every day she drank a soda, she became a little more masculine (chest hair and breast reduction).
I went over to my roommate's job at closing time so we could catch a movie. He worked at a department store and we were the only ones there. While he was counting his drawer, he suddenly looks up at me and said "Oh shit! Bad case of mud butt." He hurriedly counted the drawer and told me we had to get home, the bathrooms there were nasty. He finished and we rushed for the door, but he couldn't hold it. He ran to the bathroom and I heard what sounded like an explosion and a moan that lasted for 20 seconds. He yelled and told me to get in. Apparently, he exploded before he got a chance to sit down on the toilet cause the toilet, the wall, and the floor were covered in shit. I said let's get out of there, but he felt bad so he tried to flush the little amount that made it into the toilet. It started to overflow and we both freaked out and ran out. The next day my roommate came home from work and told that the janitor just quit his job.
Bijan G. from RMC
My roommates are not only completely stupid, but they are also extremely fat bitches. They are complete slobs, they use my stuff, and they spray so much perfume (it smells like my old lunch lady's perfume) that we have to open every window and door whenever they are "going partying". I was just going to put up with it till the end of the semester but instead I went the the store that I work at and bought some Doe in Heat. It's deer urine for hunters to use to induce the sex drive in bucks to lure them in, and I put it in their perfume, shampoo, conditioner, face wash, mouth wash, and body wash. They reeked when they get out of the shower but they don't notice. I'm hoping a buck gallops onto campus and tramples them to death. Have fun smelling like piss bitches!
I used to cook dinner for my roommates, one of whom would gladly eat the dinner but not help with the dishes because "[she] didn't get them dirty to begin with". That was no good but when she started dating one of my friends, I decided to have a little payback. I replaced half her soy milk with actual milk milk. She's lactose intolerant so I thought it would be funny to hear about how she farted her way through her date. Turns out she went home with my friend and accidentally dropped a deuce during their hookup session. Oops.
Steve A. from Berkeley
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