An English cottage, on a Thursday in late November, 1621 AD.
Knock at the door. MOTHER and FATHER open it to reveal their son WILLIAM, dressed like a Pilgrim, hat buckle and all.
FATHER: William! Happy Thanksgiv
MOTHER: Why are you dressed like that?
WILLIAM: Hi. I need my laundry done.
William hands over a pile of black Pilgrim clothes.
MOTHER: These don't smell right. Have you been experimenting with drugs?
WILLIAM: It's different on the East Coast.
MOTHER: We send our son to Massachusetts, for all that money
WILLIAM: By the way, i need more money.
MOTHER: so he can have opportunities we never had, and he takes up with a bunch of weed-smoking libertines!
WILLIAM: Mom, they're Virginians.
FATHER: It's good to see you after all these months, Will.
MOTHER: You never write! How are we supposed to know you're still alive?
A letter drops through the mail slot. Father opens and reads it.
FATHER: "Hello Mum and Dad. We arrived in Plymouth yesterday, and"[checks the postmark] Oh. This is from August.
MOTHER: How long are you staying?
WILLIAM: Till Sunday. I have to go back with Miles, he's my passage.
MOTHER: Hardly a "break" at all. More like a long Sabbath. You can't stay longer?
WILLIAM: If I had my own ship
FATHER: Too expensive. Out of the question. Come now, the food's growing cold.
They sit down to a Sunday Roast-type meal.
WILLIAM: I was hoping we'd have turkey.
MOTHER: So now you don't eat red meat?
FATHER: Will, have you decided on a major yet?
FATHER: How are you supposed to get a job with a major like that?
WILLIAM: It's what I went there for in the first place!
MOTHER: You know we'll have to spend a fortune on Book.
WILLIAM: [holds up a Bible] I can sell it back.
FATHER: What about your roommate?
FATHER: What's his name?
FATHER: Alright. What's his Christian name?
William doesn't respond.
MOTHER: [horrified] He's not a Christian?
WILLIAM: The locals aren't that religious.
MOTHER: You could have just stayed home. Your friend Henry stayed home
WILLIAM: We were friends in, like, third grade.
MOTHER: and you know where he is now? Parliament!
WILLIAM: [rises] I'll be in my room.
FATHER: We turned your room into a debtor's prison.
WILLIAM: Then I'm going to the local pub, to see everyone from high school again.
William leaves in a huff.
MOTHER: He's not the sweet little boy we indentured.
FATHER: Don't worry, dear. He's in Colony. It's just a little rebellion.