We the biddies of the Boston College, in order to facilitate rage, promote fairness of drank distribution, ensure good times for all, promote the general fabulousness, and secure the Blessings of Carrie Bradshaw to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the Classiest Biddies of All.

To be considered a classy biddy, a biddy must adhere to the following guidelines.

I. A biddy always wears fabulous shoes

II. A biddy never drinks rubinoff

III. A biddy is always presentable

IV. A biddy is always up in the gym just workin on her fitness

V. A biddy doesn’t buy her own drinks

VI. A biddy does what she wants

VII. A biddy never drinks alone

VIII. A biddy is always invited out on Friday night, but she deigns whether or not
to accept

IX. A biddy never gives road head

X. A biddy doesn’t back down from a challenge

XI. A biddy waits to be texted, she does not make the first text

XII. A biddy is witty

XIII. A biddy always puts chicks before dicks

XIV. A biddy always lets her friends know when they are hot, but also when they
are not lookin so hot

XV. A biddy will always help a friend in need, but a biddy never asks for help

XVI. A biddy only drinks diet soda

XVII. The only occasion in which a biddy may break one of the aforementioned rules is in an extremely hung over state

XVIII. If a biddy chooses not to remember something, it didn’t happen

XIX. A biddy will accept the cape of shame when necessary, but wearing the cape of shame frees the biddy from ever having to speak of it ever again

XX. A biddy knows how to shake her booty

XXI. A biddy knows the words to at least one Ke$ha song

XXII. A biddy is always confident

XXIII. A biddy never denies being a biddy

XXIV. On a scale of horse to unicorn, a biddy is closer to unicorn