The great Portland cougar is a majestic predatory mammal that inhabits the cascadia foothills region of the pacific northwest. This fascinating and once tenous breed is making a full recovery despite historically persisting as an endangered species. Their recovery is a recent phenomenon – a result of a curious population explosion. One that many top scientists have attributed to human introduced pollutants, most notably ethanol and sex and the city on on-demand.  Portland cougars are adept nocturnal hunters that are known to be capable of dragging prey up to twice their size several miles back to their dens, then all the way back to Blue Hour, then Jinx, and then back to their dens again without paying for a single cab ride. Their primary habitat is located in the pearl district region of the Portland savannah but they have been known to venture as far out as Beaverton to support their prey demands. In harsh northwest winters, the portland cougar has been known to hibernate for a period of several weeks. Because of this, their diets adjust seasonally to include small caesar salads and a few bites of really expensive meals bought by people who can't afford to be doing that shit. Despite this nutritional variation, due to their extreme consumption of raw meat, cougars are considered apex carnivores. Although captive Portland cougars have historically been sustained on old wrinkly sausage links, their wild counterparts have been known to feed primarily on schools of aggressive juvenile predatory great apes, commonly referred to as a "crews" or "bropacks". Portland cougars are clever creatures, able to preform complex drink orders and sophisticated mating calls often times ending with "hon", "baby" or even "you're too young for me". They have even been documented luring their prey by mimicking injured gazelles or drunk stragglers – the bropack's main source of sustenance. In times of great famine, however, cougars have been known to predate on even the most gentle and slow moving native species of sloth known by their local name, hipsters. The Portland cougar, despite their remarkable hunting prowess and territorial nature, rarely hunt alone. Instead, they can be found hunting in small two cougar units that often times include an older yet equally aggressive and extremely deadly non-cougar element addressed simply as "a coworker friend". Having once been cougars themselves, coworker friends have reached such advanced age to the point of evolving a potent saliva-borne dignity toxin, a substance highly corrosive to self worth and causing a rare condition local tribesmen call "being 45ed up".

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