So a few weeks ago, I decided to pull a prank on my rugby teammate/team captain. He is a great guy and didn't deserve to get messed with, so I guess I was having some good ol fashion fun. I made a fake email account and sent him a series of emails posing as a freshman looking to come out for the team. Below is a transcript of the emails

(Don't ask how I got the idea to do this. I dont even know how my brain works half the time.)  

[Email #1] 

Dear Mr. ———.

Hello, my name is Michael and Im a freshman here at the U of O and Id like to come to tryouts for the rugby team. Ive never played a sport before in my entire life and I figured id like to start out with something cool like rugby. Im not very big or strong, but I am faster than all of my friends and i think i could score a lot of tries for your team :) 

I think is important to mention the main reason I haven't played any sports before. It is because of a distressing medical condition I have. I suffer from Stendhal Syndrome, which in my particular case causes me to occasionally get an embarrassing erection whenever my heart beat raises. As a teenager, it was pretty difficult for me try to play sports but now I feel like in a college environment I can try to play the sports I've always wanted because people are mature enough to handle it. 

When would i be able to come to try out for the team?

Sincerely 

Michael Sandell


[Reply]

We would love to have you come out, practices are tuesday thursdays from 330 to 530 at riverfront field, which is the field right before the autzen footbridge, and morning practices are monday wednesday 630 am to 730am at the turf fields next to the rec. I look forward to meeting you. 

[Email #2]

Dear Mr. ———-

Im sorry I couldn't make it out to practice the other day, I had to study for a Spanish test. But I am pretty excited to come out to practice! Ive been reading up on Rugby!

Also I've got got some good news regarding my problem. I was practicing my rugby moves in front of the mirror today and i figured out a way to prevent my Stendhal syndrome from flaring up. If i take a few strands of electrical tape and then tape my genitals to the side of my leg it becomes pretty unnoticeable.  

Do you think that is a good idea?

Best
Michael Sandell

[No reply… Email #3]

I am so sorry I could not make it to practice today and unfortunately I might not be able to make it to practice for another week or so. I bought some brand new rugby shoes and was ready to go, but while removing the electrical tape I applied to myself the other day I ended up tearing some skin off my penis. Its pretty painful and I dont think I can stand to run around on it for a while.

Is it still cool for me to come to practice? I really would like to know soon because I spent a lot of money on those shoes and the return date is approaching fast. Thanks again and I hope you have a great weekend :)

Best,
Michael Sandell