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Last night there was a commercial for "Sarah Palin's Alaska" while my girlfriend and I were watching t.v. After the commercial she says, "What the hell does she have to do with Alaska?" and then berates me for acting like she was dumb for not knowing the answer.
Years ago, when my wife and I were dating, we were watching Full Metal Jacket. About half way through the movie she says, "Babe, where was the Vietnam war fought?" I told her Vietnam. A few moments later she asked, "Didn't we go to war with Korea?" I told her yes. She then asks me, "What was the name of that war?" I looked at her and told her it was the Korean war.
How do you tell your girlfriend that you want her to rip off that facial hair you've been "ignoring- for 2 months? I don't know either, so I'm hoping she reads this and gets the hint.
I spent the past two days worried about what I must have done for my boyfriend to be acting so cold and distant towards me. I finally confronted him about it online, telling him exactly that, and got back, "np, black ops, sorry XD."
My girlfriend reads my text messages every single day, and quizzes me about what I sent to others. If I even glance at hers, she yells that I don't trust her enough.
My friend died quite recently from an illness. My girlfriend asked if I wanted to meet her after the funeral and the wake. I said she was sweet to offer but I wanted to stay with the people who knew the friend and that I would be pretty drunk by then anyway. She said I was just using the funeral as an excuse to get drunk with my buddies fucking. bitch.
My now ex-boyfriend used to fart a lot. When I would pull my shirt over my nose to avoid the smell, he would get offended because I "didn't accept all of him.-
Instead of buying myself tanning minutes with the money left over from my paycheck, I preordered Assassin's Creed Brotherhood for my boyfriend. This should give me at least a month's worth of not having to give him head. Thank God for video games.