Types of friends that a girl must have at a point in her life (whom she is not too proud of)
1. The girl that is so hot and gets all the guys:
… Yup. They're the worst. She's so cute that you know if you're a guy you would ask her out too. She's perfect and all the boys swoon over her. She knows it too and is very confident. At first it's nice to have a friend that gets all the attention and makes your enemies jealous (which is awesome). But then the guy you have a crush on likes her too. And even though she can get any guy she wants she likes him too. Now they're going out.
BONUS: She lets you go out on with her on their dates so that you suffer more.
2. The girl that is so rich but wont waste a single penny on you:
Those are just the weirdest. They have all the money in the world yet they STILL manage to let you pay for your lunch. When you get about $500 a month they get $500 a week and somehow manage to be the most frugal person alive!!!!
BONUS: When you tell her your secret wish is to own an i-pad and that all your dreams will come true if you do she gets one the next day. And she won't let you touch it. ("Its battery is too low!")
3. The girl who will never leave:
This one will take a "do you wanna come in?" invitation too far. Jumping and screeching with joy she'll run into your house before you, eat your last cookie and snuggle in your "untouchable" childhood blanket. When you want some work done, she's there. When you have important guests over, she's greeting them at the door. When your boyfriend comes over for the ultimate "make-out" session, she sitting on your bed eating more cookies on your favorite blanket. She NEVER leaves! When you try to tell her that you need to "fumigate the entire house thus forcing people to take refuge somewhere else" she complains about her domestic torture… as if her staying isn't awkward enough, you have to listen to hours of how her mom likes her older sister more than her.
BONUS: She wants to move in with you. Opps!
4. The goody-goody two shoes:
Now she is perfect. And she's thrusting her perfection down your throat everyday.
"How can you smoke? That's bad for your health!"
"Oh my God! What do you mean by 'it's been a while since I last performed my religious duties'?"
"Green day?!" faint
BONUS: "Collegehumor is a site for college students who have no future, have no better career options, no sense of humor and is basically wasting your life. You should be drinking milk and gardening instead."
5. Your distant childhood best friend:
She got married. Enough said.
BONUS: She's still married.
6. The one who has a low self-esteem:
Those are the hardest. All they seem to talk about is how fat she got over the summer and how her seemingly-permanent acne is ruining her life. Her belly is hanging over her skinny jeans (she's actually very thin). She never had a boyfriend… who cared about her feelings. She smells like a granny. Before you know it, you start noticing how your teeth aren't perfectly lined. And how your voice sounds kinda weird through the answer-machine. And how you really aren't THAT funny.
BONUS: She cries. Loudly. A lot. Over your shoulder. In your ear.
7. The one who likes your brother:
Ergh! She comes over to your home (at first seeming like a # 3). Then she ever-so-subtly asks if your brother is single. She laughs at whatever he says. ("Hey, fart breath. Seen my cologne?" Sudden loud miss-timed girlish laughter. Awkward silence. "No asshole, get out of my room." "Oh em jee! Your brother is SO funny!") She asks about his interests. ("What's his favorite Pokémon?") Then suddenly he can't find his cologne. Or his favorite hoodie. Or his miniature Charizard.
BONUS: Your brother goes out with her eventually. More ew.
8. Your mom:
…is so fat. Jk. A girl's mom will be a girl's best friend in one point of her life.
BONUS: Sometimes she can be the ONLY best friend in a girl's life.
Which one of those have you come across?