It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 8 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!My roommate was the nastiest person you would ever meet. I'm pretty sure that the 4 months we lived together he didn't wash any of his clothes, he just piled them in a corner of his room. Also, he "didn't like the cold" so when airing out his room he didn't open a window, he rather opened the door to his room, so that the smell of death filled the entire flat. After dodging his part of the cleaning for 4 months and using my utensils and storing them in his room as well I said that's it! I knew the landlord wouldn't kick him out even if I explained it to him (due to overpricing, I was pretty sure he didn't want to lose a tenant) so I collected a box of fireants. When he aired out his room and went to the bathroom I let them out under his bed next to a dead cat I found the day before. I took a picture, sent it to the landlord and the guy was out faster than you can say douche. In addition the landlord sent a cleaning company to clean the entire flat. Victory!
Freshman year we wanted to prank a friend of ours who constantly bragged about how many women he was getting. We anonymously contacted one of the girls he said he had hooked up with to see if she'd be willing to call him and say she was pregnant. When we told her idea she scoffed and said that wouldn't make sense because they'd never had sex. This happened three more times with three separate girls. We think he might still be a virgin!
Aaron V. from Utah
BYU is a Mormon school, and we have prayers to begin class. I had a class with my buddy's girlfriend. She made a point of turning off her ringer in class, but was a die-hard, chronic texter. I made a point of sending her texts with embedded sound files. I would send her a text, and she would open it without even looking who it was from. One day, in the middle of the opening prayer, she opened her phone, and the entire class got to enjoy a three-second long belch. She was bright red, and I think she blocked my number after that.
Ian M. from BYU
Last year when I was a TA for an engineering chem lab, the lab coordinator (prof) started getting really aggravated because the ethanol supply was clearly emptying faster than it should or any chemical in the lab
should. That's right, some seriously cheap undergrads were actually drinking the stuff. Near the end of the term, the prof asked me if I had noticed that the thief had backed off. His solution? "5 or 6 drops of phenolphthalein was all it took." Poor kids.
I have this good friend who is your typical paranoid stoner. You know what I mean, constantly checking to make sure the door is locked, thinks everyone knows he's high, etc. Well after one night of going out, we (his closest friends) decide to give him a scare. We use a phone from someone we're sure he doesn't know to send him messages saying that this was the government and we "knew what he was doing." After regularly doing this for a couple weeks, he was more paranoid than ever and mentioned to us about what was happening to him while we forced back laughs. Needless to say we decided that it was cruel and planned to tell him. We forgot to do that tiny detail. A year and a half later we learned that he was still scared that the government was watching him. He wasn't mad, just relieved.
Marc A. from Iowa
So I went into my freshman year living with my best friend. Let me just say that was the WORST decision of my life. She partied all the time, would come back at 3 am slamming all the doors. She'd hang out with numerous guys everyday. I would attempt a nap during the days and she still acted as if no one was there with her music blaring and pans clanking. It got to the point to when she would walk into the room I would get instantly pissed off, hearing her, seeing her, thinking about her. So the day she told me so was moving out was the second best day of the whole semester. The first being the day I opened her drawer to a open box of Vagisal wipes, karma's a itching bitch, huh?
Lexie S. from Grand Valley State University
Remember how you would steal our food, bitch when we didn't buy you something when we went out to eat, use all our personals, etc.?? And how all those random people I said couldn't come over kept showing up?? Well, in return for taking care of your ass for four months, since you were too busy buying drugs to buy anything, we took all your really old collectible comics you got from your grandpa and sold them. And it gave me a warm fuzzy feeling when you started crying about it. Don't eat my one year old sons food or drink his juice you piece of shit.
I had one roommate who was absolutely horrid, and had gone through at least two roommates before me. I eventually got a room transfer after being unable to put up with her any more. When the roommate who was with her after me committed suicide, and she mocked the poor girl for it, I'd had enough. She left for a long weekend with her boyfriend, and while she was gone I pranked her bedroom. I took hours to make it look exactly like one of Dexter's "kill rooms", I even set up pictures of the suicidal girl as her "victim", and a photo of her face glued to a pillow where the "body" would be on the TV show. If she follows her habits, she won't see it until she's locked herself into her room and turned on the lights. I'm sure she'll get it, Dexter is one of the most popular TV shows on campus. I can't wait until she gets back, and am considering setting up a remote camera outside her window to document her reaction. How's that for a Mouse, eh, bitch?
Jackie (unwillingly tormented as "Mouse") F