You arrrrrre my fy-er.

The one, de-sy-errrrr

Buh leeve, when I sa—-

Shit, you can't hear me or see me can you.

I swear to God my voice is like a mixture between a male Allison Krauss and a choir of angels.

And I'm singing directly to YOU. If you could see my eyes, you would be totally assured that my love for you was eternal and pure.

My webcam isn't that great, but you could probably just make out the radiant glow of my undeniable talent, too.

I play the guitar. Theres this asshole I know named Josh Lee that knows like, a million chords on the guitar, but he's a fucking asshole.

I learned from watching CollegeHumor's How To Play Guitar Well Enough to Get You Laid video series. I knew it was a joke, but learned some good stuff anyway. Joke's on them, haha! 

Well, sorry ladies. You'll have to make your way out to either Karaoke at Fenian's, or Cups Coffee House. I do covers every Tuesday night. I'd do originals, but I just don't think you're ready yet. Haha, well. You ladies take care of your precious bodies. I'm going to need them one day. ;0)