Aw the week is finally here. The week that challenges the amount of information your mind can retain; trust me when I say, for most of us it is not a lot. Right now I should be studying for the dreaded back to back finals I have tomorrow but all I can think about is how many hoops us students jump through to avoid studying. In the past two weeks, that should have been used for studying, I have done nothing except for drink, hang with friend, facebook, and have sex. Yes a life that all males could only dream about. Actually wow after writing that out my life is just pathetic. The real list is: drink my sorrows away, play halo, check my facebook and realize no one loves me, and masturbate.
After my realization that my life is just pathetic I decided to type out a guideline for all those people that wish to be just like me. I have thought of many different things to prevent you from hitting the books.
1. Think as yourself as hilarious and try and write an article for college humor such as myself.
2. Your roommates are studying intently for finals make it your mission to stop them. My favorite is the old Nerf assault.
3. Watch TV
4. Practice your paper airplane skills. Are you good enough to get a headshot on somebody across the library…I am.
5. Play some drinking games; have you ever tried studying drunk? I have and it is a ball, because it doesn’t happen.
6. Walk through campus asking people for free back massages.
7. Crash a final that you don’t even have to take, do it and turn it in with your real name, which will freak them out when they can’t find your name in the grade book.
8. Crazy cook is always a favorite of mine, make something that is so outrageous and see if it tastes good. Ever made a Mac and Cheese burger?
9. Just look up office war weapons… create
10. Finally. Have a Nerf sword fight. Make cardboard armor and just pillage the school.