Well a few years ago I came to terms with the fact I was going to hell. That was when I was 12. Unfortunately I never learned from my mistakes. Now I'm DEFINITELY going to hell. You know that friend that everyone has that says things that no-one ever should. Thats me but on an entirely different scale. It seems I have no conscience and as of yet I haven't found one. The list of my most recent moral failings follows:
About two months ago a flea-market in my hometown burned down. While this is sad for those poor vagrants without real jobs, no-one was hurt. The remarkable thing about the fire though was that the flea market was back in full swing in around a 2 weeks. I pass said flea market everyday on the way to school. One day a little kid on the bus I ride asked me where they put the burned things. My reply? "Probably wherever they put the Jews." Like I said, Straight to hell.
I chose to take an AP Euro class this year, unfortunately the teacher is a feminist. Is it just me or do feminism and history not mix at all. Thats like a white guy teaching me how to sell drugs. You know what I mean? Anyway Mrs. Teacher is usually offended by me saying things moderately derogatory, but one day I slipped up real bad. We were discussing how in 1750 France Women didn't even raise their own children. I immediately raised my hand and asked "Mrs. Teacher if women weren't raising their kids and only producing two children, please tell me they were at least really good cooks?" This comment also earned me cold stares from the other girls in my class, but really who gives a shit what ugly people think? Especially women.
About a month ago I had to have surgery on my leg. Most of you probably think I deserved it, and I might've. Well after the surgery I had to wear an immobilizer and that was no fun. I couldn't walk straight, couldn't sit normal, couldn't even drive. One good thing came out of it though; I could not tie the shoe on my left foot. For the next three weeks I consistently found a girl with at least some C-cups and a low cut neckline to tie my shoe. If your a guy, you definetly just smiled to yourself. If your a female, why the fuck are you using a computer?