There is no secret, sex sells.

It's why automobile companies prefer bikini clad whores to describe technical specifications at car shows.

It's why the ShakeWeight has done over 40 million in sales.

Furthermore, sex is the reason we cherish the cartoons of our youth. Think about your first bonerations…they probably had to do with these lovely ladies.

5. Jessica Rabbit (Who Framed Roger Rabbit

The gold standard of animation-induced erections and a trailblazer in the fight for inter-species dating. Those ruby red lips, that perfect S-shaped body.  Everyone from Katy Perry to Jessica Biel have dressed as the crimson vixen to the delight of male onlookers. Rabbit once proclaimed, “I’m not bad…I’m just drawn that way”.

I think I just shot ink all over my canvas.

4. Lois Griffin (Family Guy)
Doting housewife by day, freak in the sheets by night. I’d ignore that blood-curdling accent for just one night with the Queen of Quahog. Also, Lois is no stereotypical wet blanket wife like say, a Marge Simpson. She’s fucked Bill Clinton, Gene Simmons, and prior to Peter, kept a black boyfriend named Jerome. 
Loose Lois, indeed. 

3. April O’ Neil (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Ace reporter and sole human sympathizer to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

A great rack compressed by that yellow jumpsuit. 

Who says pressure is a bad thing?

I like to imagine that on lonely nights she goes down to the sewer and the Heroes in a Half-Shell take turns fucking her behind the stack of pizza boxes.

I often fantasize that Fergie and the black guys in the Black Eyed Peas do the same thing…

Actually, She does do that right?

Is it racist to compare the African-American Eyed Peas to slogan-shouting Turtles?
2. Cheetara (Thundercats)
Damn boy, phat pussy! That’s all I have to say.
 And look at those thighs, She’s got that Serena Williams swag.
1. Fozzy Bear (The Muppets)

Ok, Ok relax.
1.           1. This blog  isn’t just for straight males. It’s 2010, motherfuckers.

2.     So what if he’s not exactly a cartoon character, besides, of course, in the Muppet Babies series. And I do not advocate pedophilia, even with joke-telling bears.

But honestly, who hasn’t wanted to cuddle with fuzzy Fozzy! Miss Piggy didn’t know what she was missing. Fuck Kermit! Frogs don’t even have penises!…I think.

Besides, ladies know, it’s not all about looks, you need a man who can make you smile, either with a good knock-knock joke or with his fly fashion sense. The scarfy and the fedora? Waka Waka Waka, bitches…