# 1 Half of life is just showing up (and being dressed appropriately).
In every other school subject, you had to demonstrate specific skills and abilities to pass. You didn't get out of math without learning to add. You couldn't pass English if you couldn't read. No way you were getting a “C" in calculus if you couldn't … do whatever it is you do in calculus.
But for gym class you just had to show up, stand in line for roll call and be wearing a t-shirt, a pair of shorts and sneakers (sneakers that didn't have a black sole that would mark the floor!). If you had all that? Good for, you, kid! You get an “A"!
#2 – Crab soccer is ideal for revenge.
Crab soccer was awkward and fairly pointless. It's not like you could hone your crab soccer skills in gym class for a future lucrative career as a professional crab soccer player.
What crab soccer was good for, however, was paying back any classmate you had the slightest grudge against. All you had to do was crawl over near them and unleash a powerful kick in the general direction of the ball. “Whoops! I kicked you square in the teeth! My mistake!"
And no one could prove it wasn't a mistake. You didn't get detention; you didn't even get pulled from the game. I guess the only downside was having to wash all the blood off your shoes when you got home from school.