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So my girlfriend goes thru my internet history and finds a bunch of weird porn. I wasn't into weird stuff, just when you search for porn, you know, you never know what's gonna come up. Sometimes you see stuff you don't wanna see. Well, she thinks that's what I want and freaks out. Then she says we need to do that stuff so I don't think about it. Thanks, internet porn.
I just got out of my first serious relationship and had never had a one night stand. I went out one night and ended up in bed with a guy, solely based on the fact that he looked like Amir. Not a good decision on my part. Not a good decision at all .
So I finally had sex with the girl I liked for months on New years eve. The next day she told her boyfriend (who she told me she was only sort of seeing) and her ex (why he needed to know I have no clue). Best of all I was so nervous I could barely perform. So the girl I like now knows I'm crap in bed and two guys want to beat the sh*t out of me. Happy New Year.
My boyfriend is 25, in the Air Force Reserves, is a semi-pro MMA fighter in our area, and once knocked out my ex with one punch . and he makes me kill every spider we come across.
A few nights after I started dating a guy we were fooling around for the first time. After I spent a good 35 minutes or so patiently pleasing him, he started fingering me. He did this, badly may I add, for no more than 30 seconds and then rudely said "Why haven't you come yet?!" He wondered why I broke up with him soon after that night.
My girlfriend was giving me a BJ while I was watching NFL Network. So mid fellatio the guy on tv is talking about how if a team wins a division with a losing record they shouldn't be allowed to make playoffs, then without realizing it I blurted "That's dumb!" My girlfriend stopped and looked up at me with a look of shock and disdain, needless to say I was in the doghouse for the next week. But seriously if a team takes the division with a losing record let 'em make the playoffs!
This Week's "That's a Myth" Award Goes to:
Like a lot of ladies, I don't shave my legs in the winter because, well, I don't need to. It's not like anyone will see them. So I went to my boyfriend's house yesterday. We've been dating for a year and a half, and I knew he was just a little bit metro to begin with, but when we discussed the shaving issue, he told me he had shaved his legs a few days ago. I laughed, thinking he was joking. Then I pulled the leg of his pants up and saw not thick, furry leg hair, but short, dark stubble. He does it so it'll grow back thicker in the summer, but for hours I just couldn't get out of my mind the fact that, at the moment, I had thicker leg hair than my boyfriend.