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I handcuffed myself to the bed wearing nothing but an open bathrobe before she came home from work. She took the opportunity to go after my eyebrows with her tweezers.


I caught my girlfriend picking her nose and eating it. I've caught her 4 times since than doing it, I don't know how to confront her…


My girlfriend of two years broke up with me around the same time my arena partner on WoW, a 14 year old Romanian, quit playing with me. I let my girlfriend go pretty easily but begged my arena partner to keep playing with me, we were about to hit a 2k rating! To this day I am more upset about losing the arena partner.


Last spring, during a Track and Field meet, I met a girl and we exchanged numbers. Later that night (it was a Tuesday) she called me and asked if I wanted to accompany her to her prom that was happening that Saturday. She told me she ditched her last date because he would only go with her if she had sex with him afterward. I told her yes, and on Saturday we went to her prom. After dancing, not only did she give me road head on the drive home, we did it in the middle of a field at an elementary school at 1:30 in the morning.

-Z X

My girlfriend of two years would never have sex with me but we would fool around a lot. However, she would never let me finish unless I got up and walked across the room to the trash can and did it myself.


I was hanging out with a girl I went out with in high school and I asked her if she saw the blue moon (the second full moon of the month). She replied, "OMG yeah I thought the moon looked more blue tonight."


I had met a girl at a bar, and after a little flirting via text messages over the following days we agreed to go out for lunch. So I pick her up from her workplace, and we head to a local coffee shop. Over lunch, she explains her job for a major cell phone company. Me, having an old phone jokingly pass it to her and ask if she can update my software. What I had not forseen, was that I left the last conversation I had with a friend open, that read "Dude, I cant wait to stick it in this broads stink-pipe." The look of anger on her face was outstanding. What didn't help, is that when I clued in to what was happening I started busting a gut laughing. I have no idea how she got back to work.


Guys, don't shave your asshole. Let me explain. So my girlfriend asks me if I would, "Clean up down there." So I'm a nice guy, I go all out. I never knew there's a reason God gave us a filter down there. Apparently shaving your asshole prevents you from holding in your farts. Later I'm having dinner with her parents and and without notice I rip a huge one. And even worse it doesn't sound like a man fart, it was a loud, womanly fart. I've never seen a more disappointed look on a girl's face before. So don't shave your asshole.