Paranormal Activity 2 was sort of like Home Alone meets Casper The Friendly ghost. First of all, demons don't exist, alright? Just like Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and Jesus Christ. People literally shit their pants while I couldn't stop pissing myself with laughter. Some people actually stood up and left the theatre. Seriously????Even Scooby Doo was more suspenseful.

Here is why Paranormal Activity is NOT scary, and why everyone who was scared is a pussy. 

1) Nothing scary actually happens and everything is predictable

 The "scary" moments can be counted on your fingers. Nothing ever happens that is really frightening, and the only part that had any action was when that dumb bitch was being dragged down the stairs, and even then I couldn't shut the fuck up about how funny it was. Unfortunately most of the audience didn't agree, more people cried in the theatre than the baby in the film.



I think the point is obvious, loud noises are not scary. People in Iraq live like this every day meanwhile idiots in the theatre shit in their seats when a pot falls the fuck down. And the door moving by itself…

2) It's not real

I don't even know why I have to mention this, but apparently from the screams in the audience, this shit was not a movie, but a fucking special on the DISCOVERY CHANNEL. I'm not sure if you knew or not but demons don't fucking exist! You should be more afraid of some idiot breaking into your house and stealing all your shit. I don't care what the movie says, this stuff never happened. These idiots probably thought GhostBusters was a documentary.

Actual Comment from Audience Member:

"If you have any sort of religious views then you will probably think it's scary. You think people getting possessed isn't real? You don't think exorcisms are real? I pray for your soul then."

3) The ads were scarier than the actual film

You know it's true and the only reason most even think the movie is scary is because people believe advertisements. I walked into the theatres expecting "The Scariest Movie Of The Year". What I got was a bunch of pots and pans falling, morons screaming, and some idiot behind me leaving the theatre because he forgot his diapers at home. 

4) Can anyone even explain how the movie was scary? 

Pots falling, loud noises, dogs barking, baby crying, and a door moving a few inches. Most of this shit happens in everyday life, and the first 95 minutes is just that. You never even see the fucking demon. If I had that same demon in my house I would just tell it to "shut the fuck up and go back to sleep."  

In the concluding 5 minutes, the dumb bitch gets dragged down the stairs, you can't even see the demon. Then a clusterfuck of "blood" explodes all over the fucking house. Maybe instead of lighting candles and praying that mexican maid can actually clean some shit up. Then the husband gets his neck snapped and after throwing wife at the camera, oh I didn't expect that!, she takes the baby and leaves.

Wow, and I thought Trolls 2 was the dumbest horror movie I've ever seen.