It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 8 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
Anthony F. from UAB
I was up late playing FFXII on my roommate's PS3, and I accidentally saved over his file, which he had 90 hours played time on, instead of admitting to my faux pas, I saved over the other 4 files and told everybody that the PS3 did it. I don't think it could ever really happen, but if they ever found out the truth I would probably end up in a ditch somewhere.
In freshman year my roommate and I were at a party. My roommate was kind of a tool, however while I was elsewhere he managed to seduce a girl, my girlfriend. I was furious at both of them so I decided to get a little revenge. I told a couple of friends and here's what happened: I managed to slip my now ex-girlfriends phone out of her pocket, I then handed it to a girl I knew who was incredible at impressions. In my ex-girlfriend's voice she called my roommate and told him: "Stark never could satisfy me, get him out of your room and I'll be there at 8:00, be ready." My other friend told my ex that my roommate was really sick and had asked to see her at 8:00. Meanwhile I was having a conversation with the dean and told him that my roomie was doing hardcore drugs and that the best time to catch him in the act would be 8:00. The dean arrived to find my ex holding a bowl of chicken soup, screaming as my naked roommate hurriedly tried to cover his erection. The lesson? Don't steal other people's girlfriends.
OK so, freshman year of college, in the dorms with three other dudes. Everything couldn't be better, we've got the laundry room floor and it's only one floor away from the lobby so no annoying elevator rides or ridiculous trips up and down the stairs. Only real problem is that the girls floor beneath us must have been spawned from the bitchiest part of hell. They threw Axe bombs in our rooms, chili on our doors and threw our wet cloths out of the dryers. So, after much abuse I decided to save a particularly potent asparagus piss session in a bottle for about three months and waited until it was around 3 in the morning before I crept down a floor and pored the contents of my bottle up and down their hallway. The following weeks were spent noticing who was using the laundry room and stringing the appropriate thongs and such from our floor's ceiling whenever I had the chance. Who's the dick now?!
James H. from Oakland University
I had a roommate once and all he did was watch pornography. So with the help of ten mates when he left the room, we glued his seat with a mix of quick dry glue and guerilla glue. When he came back all of us pinned him down to his seat and tied him to his seat without him knowing it was us because we wore ski masks. I didn't return to the dorm until five hours later and had a lot of fun prying him out. He still doesn't know it was us.
I ended up rooming with a girl I didn't know. This girl was from the town the school was in, so she was supposed to find the apartment for us, but I ended up having to do it because she was too busy having an abortion after a one-night stand (which also gave her genital warts and the clap). One night her college professor dad came over to yell at me for not having enough WHITE friends and not being his daughter's friend. He had his other cop daughter with him, and said if I didn't move out he was going to have her arrest me for providing alcohol to minors (my friend was 20 1/2) and deport my international student friends. Well, I moved out, but not before throwing the biggest, ethnic-food-smelliest dinner party at the apt, with all my Arab, Persian, Asian, African, Bosnian, Mexican and assorted other nationalities of friends and leaving the mess for her to clean up. Professor M. Spencer of University of Northern Iowa, you're a sick racist, and your daughter Kelsey is a whore!
H.Y. from UNI
I have the Poopiest Room-mate ever. The Closest Strip mall has a Starbucks, a Taco Time and a Pub. He only eats Tacos, coffee and beer. Also he is a teeny bit morbidly obese. Needless to say when he goes to the bathroom for 45 minutes or more he completely fills out little "eco friendly" toilet, sometimes there is shit outside the toilet and sometimes he leaves shit in the sink from washing his hands after an epic battle with his colon. You think this would be an embarrassing problem that he might clean up after hes done. Nope he only cleans when his girlfriend comes over on weekends for "bubblebath night" (yuck). So last Friday morning (when it was extra bad) I put a radio on in there and locked the door from the outside all day so he didn't have a chance to clean it. Needless to say that was the shortest bath night ever. I wonder if she'll still date a dude who misses the bowl when he shits.
Liz B. from UofC
Near the start of spring break I was letting my mini fridge thaw/drain in the bathroom while I was at dinner. Come back to find someone was trying to steal it cause they figured I didn't want it anymore. Why? Somebody had taken a shit in it while I was gone. A shit. In my fridge. Where I keep my food. Naturally I was a bit angry, so when some dude down the hall told me his roommate did it I went and got one of his pillows, filled it up with the shit from the fridge, and tucked it neatly back with the rest of his pillows on his bed. I don't know when or how he found out, but it was just before I found out he wasn't the guy that shit in my fridge. His roommate just sold him out to fuck with him. I would've felt bad, but I had to buy a whole new fridge and replace the guy's pillow. So fuck him and FUCK WHOEVER SHIT IN MY FRIDGE. I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE AND I HOPE YOU READ COLLEGEHUMOR. ASSHOLE.
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