Judge Zuckerberg: Order in the court. Today we are here to settle the divorce of Becky Loveya<3 and Marc Brosephson. Becky what are your grievances?
Becky: Your honor, I thought everything was fine until I saw he poked her. How could he? What are our 100 mutual friends going to think?
Marc: Oh shut up Becky! It was just a poke. You spent 5 fucking dollars to send Brad a fake gift on his birthday, Who actually does that? Tell me Who
Judge Zuckerberg: Wait you actually bought one of those? We never thought anybody would actually do it. We figured it could be an easy buck if anybody was that stupid. Back to the trial though. Coming to the stand is Becky's best friend Stacy
Stacy: So my friend is totally not to blame. You could tell Marc was getting tired of her. He began to like everything and I mean anything. It got out of control at one point he started to create his own pages to like. For example may 10th he liked "I wore a blue shirt today." It was obvious the relationship was strained.
Marc: I was only responding to your facebook chat manner. You would never respond yet be writing a response for hours.
Becky: Facebook chat sucks. It wasnt my fault. You have to understand.
Judge Zuckerberg: Its true. I wouldn't use it. Every time I hear that bing I get the shivers. Thats one thing those damn Winklevosses can have. Now going to the stand is Marc's friend Brad.
Brad: Becky never supported Marc in anything he did. We used the new facebook profile to have his recent pictures say "I am Gay" and she didn't even notice. We worked hours on that. He even jumped on the bro bandwagon with me after I kept it for way too long. She doesn't deserve him.
Judge Zuckerberg: Now both of you give your final statements. I have to go ruin another one of my friendships in a messy lawsuit.
Marc: This marriage at one point worked. I literally did nothing but it was the best nothing I have ever done. Now that I have to focus when I got facebook it just isnt working for me.
Becky: You know what Marc? I don't even care. All those times I liked your posts I was faking. Nobody cares if you have a sweet night of tv and lacross in the morning. Nobody! I am glad this marriage is over. My profile page will be better without you!
Judge Zuckerberg: I think I have heard enough. It saddens me the way you too use my site and I ashamed you too are so amazingly lame because of it. But after reviewing the information here (looks in a file) your farmville plot will be split in half. Wait! are you serious.. you guys still have a farmville? Shit you guys are so lame you actually deserved eachother. You can each pick 50 of your mutual friends to keep as well. Court Dismissed. Ha farmville