While most of America's youth is content to idly spend all of their college days going to school within the oppressive confines of their chosen American university, there exists an elite few who bravely strike out down the less beaten path. At the expense of their own parents' bank account, these brave individuals journey out into the strange lands beyond our borders in search of self-enlightenment, focaccia bread, and legalized marijuana.The following is a guide showing students how to get the most out of their time abroad. Follow these easy instructions and you'll be immersed up to the groin in thick, viscous culture.
CorrespondenceFacebook is (still) your best friend while abroad. Starting and then cutting off conversations on chat to go to clubs is a great way to connected with friends. If any of your dull and vapid American friends back home ask you why you're going to a club at six in the afternoon, take a moment to chuckle and adjust your scarf before kindly reminding them of the vastly superior time difference that is implemented in Europe.Also, travel over there is like, super cheap, so don't forget to bring a camera to thoroughly document your many weekend trips to nations outside your home-base one. Make sure to label your album with generic titles like "Rome: Part 7" so your unrefined American friend-heathens back at school don't have trouble understanding where you took your pictures. It's also best to take as many increasingly similar pictures of churches and art exhibits as possible to take back home, seeing as there aren't any old buildings made of stone at most American universities.


AttireThree words: Scarf, scarves, SCARFVES. Whether you're out taking pictures of cool narrow cobblestone alleyways or purchasing overpriced knickknacks in that quaint little hamlet with all those cool narrow cobblestone alleyways, you're going to need a scarf.Also make sure to pick up a beret at some point. Obviously after the first couple days you'll be too well assimilated in the culture to wear something so cliche and American, but it will make a great gift for someone with low expectations back home.
Start a Travel BlogThis is another fun to share your experience abroad with those unfortunate enough to still be enslaved to the Western capitalist machine. Blog maintenance is quick and easy, mostly due to the fact you'll only update it twice.
Coming HomeEven the most worldly and enlightened American students abroad must eventually return to the repugnant and stifling cesspool of fascism they so begrudgingly call their homeland.The key to preserving your newfound intellect and worldview after returning back home from abroad is bringing abroad back with you. Everyone who's been abroad knows that the most satisfying part of spending time overseas is telling people back home about it. What's the point in finding yourself if you don't talk about it on a daily basis?One easy way to bring Europe home is fitting it into as many daily conversations as possible. If you find yourself drinking and conversing amongst friends a party, try to mention how you're not used to American domestic beers anymore, and how light it is compared to beer they drink "over there". From here you can state how miraculous this is, considering everyone in Europe is so skinny (which makes a great segway into that story about how your affectionate host family's mother cooks everything from scratch).
Other suggestions for bringing abroad back with you is wearing what was cool to wear abroad (see: scarves) and keeping a jar of Nutella on your kitchen counter as a conversation-piece.
On a final, and possibly most important note:Soccer: Don't forget to nourish your newfound appreciation for soccer, and by "soccer", I mean football. You love everything about it. You love watching it, you bought the newest FIFA, and you're definitely going to join a rec league again (just for fun though). Don't be afraid to tell anyone who doesn't ask that it is your new favorite sport is also the world's favorite sport, and always has been.When you're talking to friends back home, mention how much you hate Manchester United and that your favorite team is a lesser known but talented "FC" from the Premiership with a small but fanatically passionate following. Make sure to adorn a prominent area in your room with that team scarf you got during that one time you went to see them play.