Ever had a funny/interesting/awesome run in with the law? Want to incriminate yourself on a worldwide-scale? Submit your stories to IFoughtTheLawAndDidOrDidNotWin at gmail.
Right after graduating high school, I borrowed my moms minivan and picked up nine friends. One thing led to another and we bought two dozen eggs. For some reason we decided to throw them at a moving car on a busy highway. The plan was to throw eggs at the car and immediately get off at an exit. Well, we threw the eggs at a car and suddenly hit traffic, giving the car enough time to slow down and follow us off the exit. The next 10 minutes involved roughly 20 moving violations in excess of 90 mph trying to escape the mad man in the car we egged. Eventually, two police officers showed up and pulled us over. I didn't have my license on me, and I could not find my mom's insurance card or registration. The cops pulled me out of the car while the guy yelled threats of violence at my passengers. It turned out the car we hit was an off-duty police officer. In lieu of being arrested, they made us clean the guys car off, and made us eat one raw egg each. The raw taste of freedom was delicious.
I used to use my crappy car to mess with people. At the release of Halo: Reach, I purposely stalled to get people to push my car. Then I drove back around and peeled out a few times. Right before I left, I peeled out one last time and almost hit a kid. I looked in my mirror and saw police lights, so I flew around a corner and hoped he was going for someone else. He turned and pulled me over. He said that he saw me peel out every time, and he was going to write me at least three tickets, but he had a stabbing to go to.
My friends and I have play a game called Fugitive. One team starts at one point in the city and has to make it to another point a mile away without being caught by the other team. Needless to say, running through yards, through the woods and across streets in all black attracts a decent amount of attention from the police. One night, we were playing from my old elementary school to an abandoned elementary school. Despite a few close encounters in backyards, most of us made it to the school without incident. Except for my friend Jason, who got lost. After 45 minutes of waiting for him at this abandoned school, a couple police showed up. We were sure we were busted, but they said they were looking for three males and a black female that had been causing mischief in the area. Having no black females in our group, they let us go.
Twenty minutes later, with no sign from Jason, another cop pulled up. I approached him and jokingly said, "Oh, you must be looking for three males and a black female." He just stared at me blankly and said, "No. I'm here because you're trespassing at 10 o'clock at night." Oops.
My junior year of college, I successfully fled the cops once. I booked it to the top floor of the dorm where I met my friend/accomplice and we hid out in his room. The next day, I got a call at work from the cops. The cop didn't chase us because, as soon as we ran, my cell phone fell out of my pocket. He called the voicemail to get my name, then called my entire contact list one by one until he got a hold of me. My job was under Work. Almost my entire contact list got a call from the police looking for me.
In 7th grade, my two friends and I used to climb up to the roof of our school. We'd done it a lot, about 20 times before getting caught. It was the first snow day of the year. Our school has an enormous hill and a ton of people were sledding. There was a shitload of untouched snow on the roof. We climbed up an climbed it for ourselves. Then we built a fort facing the hill. Little kids were piling up to watch us, screaming "How did you get on the roof?" That made the adults take notice, so we decided it was time to make a run for it. We headed for the other side of the school and and jumped off. We landed right next to a cop, there because people complained about us. We were terrified. The cop let us go with a warning, except for my last friend to jump. He saw the cop and shouted "You're never catching me, f***ing cop!" Then he ran to the other side of the roof, jumped off, missed the snow pile and broke his right leg.
I threw my first big party at my house in 11th grade. Eventually the cops came because someone egged a neighbor's house. Everyone ran but me and my two friends. When the cop asked whose house it was I said, "That guy, the one who just ran away." The cop laughed and called him an idiot. Then the cop started walking through the house and noticed some family pictures.
"So you said the kid who lives here ran away," he said.
"Yeah," I replied.
"So this isn't your house? These aren't pictures here of you and your family?"
I looked at him in silence for a minute and said, "No officer, that's not me." A good five minutes passed while the cop made calls to his department before I finally came clean.
"I'm sorry officer, there is something I should tell you. This is my house. Those are pictures of me and my family." I said.
"Yeah, I thought so, why don't you call your parents," he replied.
During my junior year of High School, my friends and I would sneak out during assemblies to play videogames at someone's house. We thought it was brilliant. The last time we did it we had twenty minutes to marvel at ourselves before someone realized there were four cop cars in front of the house. One of my friends tried to escape out the back door and found himself face to face with a police officer who had his gun drawn, screaming at him to get on the ground. Turned out, the neighbors called the police thinking we were burglars. Because that's what 10 nerdy high school kids walking into a house in broad daylight without a car look like.
About six years ago, my roommate and I decided to buy some weed and then go to a movie. Our connection was on his way over when I called to get movie listings. The problem was that the theater's number ended with 9111. I must have forgotten the last one or something and found myself on the phone with a 9-1-1 operator. I was shocked. I told them it was the wrong number and hung up. Our connection showed up and hung out with us for a bit. Just after we'd put our stash away, there was a knock on the door. A cop was there to check out the 9-1-1 call. I allowed him in because I didn't want to look like I had something to hide. He was checking to make sure we weren't holding someone hostage or something. My connection was stone cold and my roommate held it together even though I knew he was freaking out. Our stash was safely hidden but, had he been thorough, the officer would have found two pipes and a bong we'd left on the dresser. Then he probably would've found our stash. Oh yeah, and our drug dealer.