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I failed to lose my virginity the first time round because I had to ask "Why have you got a tramp stamp" as we were taking our clothes off
Sometimes my girlfriend plays with my junk and pretends it's an anti aircraft gun.
A few months after we started dating, I learned that my ex-gf had had sex with more girls then me. I'm a guy.
So as a budding 12 year old gay boy, I used to fantasize about the dashing boy in choir whose stocky body would surely grow into a hunky man that would sweep me off my scrawny little feet. To my dismay I never saw him again after the sixth grade and pretty much forgot entirely
Skip ahead almost ten years. I'm working at a video game store when a gigantic, socially awkward, pizza faced behemoth waddles into my store and requests a copy of black ops, being M rated, I have to ask for his license. Imagine my surprise (read horror) when his name is unmistakable, I smile and wave him off politely as he titters off with his video game. Christmas on a Cracker did I dodge a bullet!
This guy I was dating and I would always go down to the basement to hook up. We would always tell my parents that "we're gonna go play pool" or something along those lines. One time after he left, my mom gave me a funny look and said "You guys were awfully quiet down there today, what were you doing?" I froze completely mortified
and told her we were practicing sign language. Since then, any time I have a guy over, even if it's just a friend, she makes a point out of it to say, "have fun practicing your sign language!"
A few months ago, my very first girlfriend (of 2 years) broke up with me. I was so sad that I didn't want to do anything except stay in and listen to break-up songs on Youtube everyday. I remember at one point I had Justin Bieber's "Baby" on repeat. Yeah
. maybe I deserved getting dumped.
I was dating this guy for a few weeks and things seemed to be going great. One night we went out for drinks with one of my friends and then the two of us went out to dinner. We're talking, laughing and having a good time when out of nowhere he says "You know I'm crazy right?- And I look at him all confused and he says, "Check your phone.- I check my phone and there's a text from him that says, "Yo man I need to break up with this girl, I don't know what 2 do.-
I was at a party chatting up some girl when I noticed that she was foreign. I asked her, "Where are you from? I don't recognize your accent." She replied, "I have a speech impediment." That was the end of that.