It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 8 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
David W. from NYU
My roommate never comes out of his room and I always hear him making weird noises especially at night when he is talking to himself. So recently I created a Twitter account to keep track of all the weird stuff he says and does just so my friends and I can laugh later at it.
My roommate is oh so conceited. She's of slightly less than average weight and slightly less of average height, and uses a serious push-up bra to turn her Bs into Ds. Now myself, I'm of average everything. But it never fails, any time we're having a conversation about anything be it clothes, hooking up, boys, parents, cooking and cleaning, whatever she always manages to brag about the fact that she's "so skinny" and that she "doesn't weigh enough". And on top of it all, she usually brags about being able to eat anything and still stay skinny while I'm making myself dinner per my diet. Well, long story short, my darling roommate has gained about fifteen pounds in the past six months. I attribute it to the fact that she's started consuming nothing but fast food and chick beer
and also because when she's not eating one of those two things, I'm dumping extra salt and sugar in her food so she gets fat. Your metabolism is just slowing down, right? :)
A. from University of Tennessee
We had this roommate who would cook the smelliest shit ever and stink the whole apartment up. He also would leave his stereo on 24/7 while it bumped this annoying bass as I was trying to sleep or recover from a hangover. One night after he went home for the weekend I broke into his room opened the window and put bird seed all over the window and in his room. Needless to say he came home to a Bird shit stained room. There was literally birdshit everywhere. He moved out a week later.
Trey from Chicago
My roommate last semester had two very important qualities laziness, and no concept of the value of money. He was a freshmen, and I am a senior in chemical engineering. So, for the entire first semester of college, he would pay me to do all of his chemistry and calculus homework. It worked really well, and I earned about $3000 doing all his reports and homework. Unfortunately for him, I have very distinct, very neat handwriting. So when he took his calc final, his professor noticed the drastic change, and found out that he hadn't done any of his own work all semester. She then notified his chem professor. So he got expelled from USC for "academic dishonesty", and I get the room to myself all this semester. You mentioned all semester how much money your dad made as "the best lawyer in Georgia", so I hope he can help you get back into school. Really, I do. Because adding 1 + 1 for $20/hr was the easiest money I've ever earned.
Danny O. from USC
My roommate had a dog, but no one ever took it outside in the winter. We lived in a 4th floor apartment. He trained the dog to poo and whiz out on the concrete balcony. When night fell, my roommate would simply kick the frozen turds off the edge into the parking lot. I thought it was really funny to think about those poor bastards that kept finding frozen turd all over their cars.
Cam V. from Virginia Tech
Freshman year, I roomed with two girls in an apartment-like dorm. One girl was awesome to live with, and we're still friends. The other was a full-blown nightmare. She was a bitch that enjoyed creating drama as well as a major slut. After she spent a night flirting and hanging all over a mutual friend's boyfriend, I decided to plan out some revenge. I got my chance a few months later, when she had a big date planned with this upperclassman (who probably only went out with her because of her reputation). The day before, I snuck into the bathroom with a utility knife and made small nicks in the blades of her razor. The best part was that she stored her replacement blades in one of those shower caddies, so I got to them, too, making sure to make it look untouched afterwards. I don't know what happened on the date, but it was hilarious to watch her rub Neosporin into her armpits for the week that followed.
I ventured into my roommate's room recently and noticed something weird in the corner. It looked like a blow-up Pokemon or something, he is obsessed with Pokemon. On closer inspection I discover it was a sheep, a sex sheep. Like a blow-up sex doll but a sheep not a woman. Not to jump to conclusions I thought maybe it was just a gag gift from Christmas; but then I noticed the box for it poking out from under the bed and when I looked inside there was the delivery invoice with his name on it. The proof was undeniable, he's a sheep fucker.
Ben N. from Nottingham University
Submit yours here!