It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 9 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
Mac C. from SUNY Delhi
My roommate is a hypochondriac. He's had two MRIs and three x-Rays since the beginning of the semester, and he's usually faking. Every Wednesday he gets bored with his life and makes up something new. It's always Wednesday- the middle of the week. That time he "sprained" his ankle and had to go to PT twice a week for a month? I saw him trip over that twig, then look around to see if anyone was watching before throwing himself on the ground and whining. He went home that weekend and made me carry his stuff out to his car. I've started to tell him he talks in his sleep. He thinks he has a brain tumor and is slowly losing brain capacity, so he's giving away his stuff. I've scored several DVDs this way. I regret nothing.
So I tend to puke easily, it's kind of something I just have gotten used to because usually it's not too bad. My roommates make fun of me about it incessantly so lately I've taken the habit to puke on their stuff. Like if I feel it coming I'll go to the bathroom and puke a little in my roommates body wash or shampoo, or sometimes I'll go into their rooms and puke a little on their clothing. Enjoy bathing and wearing puke guys, maybe you shouldn't try and embarrass me about it all the time.
Mike R. from UW-Madison
Hey Vanessa, remember how you would always use up my expensive perfumes and wear my new clothes? Remember how you would leave your filthy used tampons on the floor of our bathroom? Oh, and remember that tool you were dating? You know, the one who would eat all the food I bought and would then shit in our toilet and not flush? Well, these were just the few examples of how you managed to make my life a living hell. I'm flattered that you trust me but, not needing a password to access your laptop ESPECIALLY when you have naked pictures of yourself is beyond me. After you went to sleep the night before the that huge, 60%-of-your-grade, essay was due, I went onto your computer and created a little bonus late slide onto the power-point. I put a very sexy and seductive naked picture of you with the caption "Call for a good time
(your cell phone number)." Haha, it was funny when you presented the project in front of the whole 80+ student class, wasn't it?!
Cassie O. from University of California, Berkley
So after 2 years of being roommates my friend all of a sudden turns into a crazy psycho bitch to the point where no one can stand her (she literally has no friends now). She hoards food, plates, glasses, etc. as well as claiming we dirty the kitchen when she never cleans anything up! Now I'm a pretty passive person, but 2 weeks ago I lost any patience I had left after she talked shit about my best friend who just left for the navy and that was just one catty comment too many. So not only did I break into her room and move everything around, I took out each of her Oreo cookies one by one, opened them up, licked both sides, and replaced them as if they had never been touched. Oh, did I mention I also had a cold at the time? Yeah, she's sick now. She still can't figure out how one of her posters is all of a sudden turned upside down on the wall, why her hobo looking clothes was flung across the floor and why her ipod went missing. Coincidentally, I just got a new ipod recently
The hall that I live in has extremely thin walls, and you can hear everything that goes on in not just your neighbor's room, but also most of the rest of the rooms in the hall. Thus, we're designated as "quiet housing." Most people abide by this rule, except for one douche bag who constantly blares his techno music 24/7. We all have told him to stop multiple times, but he just gets defensive and angry. It's worse though when he plays it while he showers. The music is so loud that people on the other end of the hall can hear it. My room, unfortunately, is right next to the bathroom. After being sick of techno music waking me up every morning, I decided to sneak in to the bathroom while he was showering one day, go on his computer, and delete system 32. Enjoy your now fucked up computer, asshole.
A group of us are on a field trip abroad, and we're staying in a motel for a few nights, two in a room. I didn't know my assigned guy so well, just saw him around college before, but we end up getting on well. One night the whole group goes out; the night takes its natural course, roommate gets the token anything-goes girl. I head back early and doze off. Roommate bursts in, wakes me up, asks me to get out because she's coming back. No problem, bros first. Too late, she starts to stumble in, so I fake sleep, they go at it. No worries. But I get kind of annoyed as the haze starts to turn into a headache. I get an idea. Just as he customarily declares he's going to finish, I bolt out of bed and scream wildly; surprised, he thrusts her headfirst into the wall knocking her out, and pukes in shock all over her head. I claimed I had really passed out then snapped out of it. We're still buddies now, and he believed me.
T. Perez from University of Cambridge
I had a roommate who was nice but we never really clicked as I found her rather odd. The first day back from our first term reading week she knocked on my door and told me she was taking winter break early. Seven weeks early. One week after she left I opened her door and everything was cleared out. Needless to say, I took full use of the extra room while she was gone. Had friends crash there, who ate the popsicles and drinks she left in our freezer and even dried a few hand-wash only sweaters and shirts in her empty closet. Sadly, come second term she had reappeared and I secretly hope she'll do the same thing after this reading week.
Maggie A. from Canada
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