Ever had a funny/interesting/awesome run in with the law? Want to incriminate yourself on a worldwide-scale? Submit your stories to IFoughtTheLawAndDidOrDidNotWin at gmail.
When I was in 8th grade, two friends and I made awesome ninja costumes out of random clothes and bed sheets. We only used black and red material. They looked pretty authentic. Then we took to the neighborhood and stealthily (in broad daylight) did acrobatics across people's yards. Just as we had safely found cover behind a bush, a cop car came swinging around the corner with it's lights and sirens at full blast. The officer told us to stop where we were over the loudspeaker. Then he pointed a spot light on us, which seemed pointless since it was midday, but it did thoroughly blind us in his direction. He then drew his weapon and stood there while we we were frozen on someone's lawn, feeling somewhat stupid and terrified. Shortly after two more cops pulled up.
We were wearing masks, because we'd have been bad ninjas if we weren't, so they asked us to remove our headgear. It turned out somebody had seen us running through their yard. They thought we were part of a local gang and called the police. Then they got a few more similar calls, one of which informed the dispatcher that we were armed. That's why seven cop cars surrounded ended up surrounding us, three 14-year-old kids dressed in what we thought were convincing ninja outfits. And we were carrying weapons. They were: a stick, a wooden back scratcher and a neon green cat toy made of a plastic rod and a piece of string with a ball on the end. One of the officers finally started laughing and they told us how serious it was to dress up in gang colors and trespass.
I think the highlight of the experience was when one of the officers asked my friend to remove his gloves and my friend grumbled, "they're socks" as he removed the black dress socks from his hands. They let us off with a warning but made us remove as much of our costume as we could without being naked then directed us home.
Last semester I was riding my motorcycle through campus and driving way over the speed limit. I did a half stop at a stop sign and continued on. I noticed everyone on the sidewalks were looking at me and I couldn't figure out why. I had headphones on and my mirrors retracted, so I didn't noticed the motorcycle cop with his sirens on behind me. I pulled over. He walked over and said, "Why didn't you stop when I hit my lights a half block back?" I said, "I'm too fat to see with these mirrors, officer." He laughed and let me go.
I live in an agricultural area in California. It's full of farms and dairies. Needless to say, my sources of entertainment are limited. One night my friends and I went to see a crappy Nicholas Cage movie. While I was in the theater, I got a call from my dad. Oh boy, was he pissed. He said the cops were at our house and they were looking for me. I told my friends I had to go and went home immediately. I couldn't imagine why the cops were looking for me. As soon as I pulled into the driveway I was hit with a full interrogation from a police officer. I still didn't even know what I was being accused of. The cop said I was facing a $1500 felony for stealing personal property. I was being accused of stealing bull semen. Yeah, that's right. I was accused of stealing bull semen from the back of my friend's hillbilly neighbor's truck. Who the hell steals bull semen? I got off clean, but still, what the hell would I have done with bull semen? And I didn't even get my money back from the movies.
It was Junior year of college. I was waiting in the hallway of the Engineering building for my Advanced Database Design class to start. A cop strolled up to me, IDed me, then informed me that I was under arrest for an unpaid ticket. I was shocked. I asked him if he had to do it right then, because I was about to get a test back. He said yes, we had to do it right now. I demanded that he let me get my test back and tell my professor I would be absent from class. Eventually, he allowed it. I informed my professor I was being arrested and would need my test back immediately. He gave it to me and the cop escorted me outside, where he handcuffed me in front of the dean's office window and threw me in the back of a waiting cruiser. For an unpaid $60 violation, I was shamed in front of my peers, professor and dean, booked into the system, held in the police station, and out $60. Whatever, I got a 90 on that test and it was the sweetest feeling ever.
My buddies and I were were finishing up a 10 hour drive back from spring break in Florida. It had rained the entire week, so we were anxious to be home. Two minutes from my house, the driver decided to floor it the rest of the way. His speedometer maxed out at 115, and it had been that way for 10 seconds when I saw a cop in the oncoming lane. We didn't ever get past them before the lights came on. We pulled into an empty high school parking lot and shut off the car, waiting to go to jail. The cop caught up to us and walked over to the window.
"Where's the emergency?" she said.
The driver just stuttered.
"We were just coming home from spring break. We've been in the car for 10 hours, and I live right there (pointing to my house)," I said. "We didn't have a good time, and it rained the entire week."
"Yeah, you don't look very tan," she said.
"And now cops are making fun of us," I said. She was clearly hiding a smile now.
"If I ever see you driving like that again, I am going to write you many, many tickets," she said.
I was teaching my girlfriend to drive in my church parking lot one night. We took a break and hung out in my car chatting. All of a sudden, there were bright floodlights behind us. Cops come up to each of our windows and started asking us questions. Apparentlym my church parking lot is was a popular place to sell drugs at night. I realized, while talking to the cop, that I had a very realistic looking air soft gun at my feet. I quickly pointed it out to the officer for what it was. He asked if there were any more. I told him there were several in the trunk. He and his partner asked if they could see. They played with them in the parking lot for a bit. After they were done, I asked the officer if I could check out his taser. He said no.