It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 7 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

Well, since you and Tiko decided to tag team me this time, I've decided to get you both back at the same time. Remember that ice cream we got about a week ago? Remember how we ate half the bucket and the next day there was about a quarter more than there was the night before? Well I knew neither of you would think much of it and eat it anyway… Well, Sorry to tell you, but that was a 3 part lotion, 1 part water, 2 part milk mix with a bit of glue for good measure. Don't worry, it's non-toxic. Happy constipation!

Anthony F. from UAB

My roommate is a complete waste of space. He easily spends 7 hours a day playing videogames. What's worse is that he's completely oblivious to the outside world when he's playing. Twice I've had to put out kitchen fires because he forgot he was cooking food. Only good thing is he is so oblivious, he has no idea his girlfriend's been cheating on him for the last month. With me.
Adam Z.

Hey, asshole. Yes, you. The one who cheated twice on his girlfriend/fiance within your first week freshman year. The one who hogged the room so you could nail skanks throughout the year, resulting in me getting laid all of one time for the semester. Remember how your food kept giving you hives? Yeah. Shouldn't have told me about your allergy. By the way, only douchebags wear their high school letterman jackets in college.
Anonymous from UNT

They guy who lives across the hall from me is a total jackass, and also a huge fan of Batman, to the point of having an 8×10 foot "What Would Batman Do?" banner hanging in his room. So when he was away for a long weekend, me and some buddies decided to slightly modify his collection with black and yellow paint. I don't know what Batman would do, but I know "Buttman," apparently his new hero, would approve.
D.M.

A girl who is part of my circle of friends and is one of those people that 'has' to be in a relationship started to show interest in my roommate and asked him to a sorority dance. My roommate was quite exited because she is not too picky and fairly attractive, and also he hasn't been on a date in a long time. To play one of many pranks that we pull on each other, myself and my other roommate convinced him she had a lot of STD's, even though she doesn't, and so he stood her up. Ironically days after my roommate stood her up, his best friend started dating her and now they are in a relationship and it just went facebook official.
John R. from University of Idaho

Hey roomie, I always sort of smiled to myself when you bitched that your kitty liked me more than you. It's probably because you fed him maybe four times a week, and I'm the one who did it the rest of the time because your drunk slutty ass never remembered to do it when you got home at 3 am. Or maybe it's because I'm the one who cleaned out his box, cleaned up his puke after you fed him day-old table scraps, and bought the medication to keep the fleas off him. You were way too irresponsible to own a cat and I had to act. So I'll confess – I told your mom about the way you treated him, got her help switching his papers over into my name, and took him with me when I moved out, into my new and mercifully clean apartment. I'm not sorry, not even about getting our other roommates to convince you he ran away. He and I are enjoying our new lives together, you abusive, irresponsible bitch.
E.A.

My roommate is one of the biggest bitches I have ever met. She comes off like a very nice person, but the longer you live with her the more you see that she has something wrong in the head. She leaves her dirty dishes out for days, never cleans up after herself, and she expects peace and quiet when shes studying but is loud as she wants when anyone else is. She also eats none stop these days yet still claims to be the size of my thin roommate. Knowing that she eats anything in sight we decided to start our payback. We baked brownies one night and one fell onto our disgusting kitchen floor (it hasn't been cleaned since Aug), we picked it up and set it on the counter and hid the rest. Needless to say.. she came out and ate the whole thing, dirt and all on it.
S.A. from University of Maryland-CP



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