Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
105%: Issue One Hundred and Fifty One
April 21, 2011
There's something to be said about specificity. Not sure what though.
I wonder what compelled Man to first settle in arctic climates. I bet it was the promise of their women eventually evolving into blondes.
Lately I've been trying to live every day like it's my last, at least that's my excuse for sneaking into the hospital and stealing that woman's morphine drip.
"Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and
Drug-dealer-turned-schizophrenic-housekeeper upon being handed a Swiffer
"You know you have to tell me if you're a mop, right?"
I'm really in touch with myself. Especially at night.
I'd be a born again Christian, but I don't think I'd fit in my mom's uterus anymore. Also, I worship Satan.
I'm a robot. Need proof? I have never once typed a
correctly on the first try.
Click here to submit your own 105%.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.