It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 8 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
Timothy "Tiko" "Konrad"
In my residence, there are limited amounts of those coin-operated washing and drying machines so you have to act quick to get one. One day, I was drying my clothes in one of the machines and decided to go back to my room. About a half an hour later, I went back to find my still-wet clothing on top of the dryer with another person's clothing using the rest of time. In a fit of rage, I decided to take a piss in the drying machine with the clothing inside and let him have the rest of the drying cycle. I'm pretty sure the guy lives on my floor. Oh well, hope you like the smell of piss in your clothing, asshole.
Ronald C. from Waterloo University
My neighbor was a real cool guy, but him and his baby's mama had many problems resulting in him being arrested for domestic abuse. Every time I saw his girl, she would give me the stink eye and never introduced herself. So when he was in jail, she had over her male friend, who also gave me the stink eye. So I asked my fiance to piss in a cup, went over to her comforter laying out to dry, and poured the whole cup on it. She never figured out it was me, and I never saw her male friend again. I guess he didn't like sleeping in a urine smelling bed with her skanky ass. Lesson: don't f-ing give me the stink eye, whore.
Just doing stupid things when i'm stoned: I was at a friend's place and we're sitting there, playing Ps3 (pretty baked already) when I decided to make some awesome nutella breads. Standing there in the kitchen I just couldn't resist secretly hiding a few peppercorns underneath the oh so beautiful layer of nutella. I marked the bread by drawing some sort of "X" into the chocolate-coating so that i didn't accidentally grab the wrong one. Oh boy I'm so sorry but your reaction was priceless!
My roommate is always doing annoying things that really piss me off. He uses my hand towel to wipe his dirty peanut butter covered knife on, he stays up until 3 in the morning with music going and lights on as both me and my other roommate try to sleep, he never showers, he never does laundry, he eats my food without asking, he never does dishes, and lots of other annoying things. I finally had it with him so I decided to get even. My roommate often likes to shave and then use old man aftershave which I think smells disgusting. I've told him this before but he continues to use it anyways. A week ago, I emptied out half of the bottle and replaced it with my pee. Ever since then he has unknowingly been rubbing my urine on his face.
So I'm currently living in Barcelona for an internship and one of my two roommates (a hyper bitch) is the most passive aggressive person I've ever met. She'll complain something smells and I'll come home to my section of the fridge empty because my brand new food was "really smelly and had to be rotten". Last week I'd had it for the last time, so I dug my almost new box of brown sugar she threw out of the trash and divided the contents equally to everything she owned; milk, juice, anything in tupperware in the fridge, her shampoo, conditioner, etc. Basically anything in a bottle. She started complaining that her hair felt weird and almost sticky and threw out most of her food. HA! Stupid bitch. Try throwing out my "spoiled" food again and we'll see just how far I can take this.
Vic The Dick
I attend a small, rural technical college in buttfuck nowhere, Ohio. Though It's just a tech school it has dorms
dorms with thin walls. Thin enough that I can hear my dumbfuck redneck neighbor banging his white trash whore of a girlfriend. They're at it CONSTANTLY. After putting up with this for about a week into the first quarter, I decide to help them out a little bit. After a weekend at home, I bring back a small, but powerful surround sound system and hook it up it up to my computer. Now, whenever I hear them going at it, I put on "Bad Touch" by The Bloodhound Gang and BLAST it at full volume. Every. Single. Time. I hear them. That's what they get for not showing enough common courtesy to cover the sound of her faking an orgasm with music. I'll continue to DJ their hook-ups until they get the hint. "You and her, dirtbag, may be nuthin' but mammals, but hearing you two boning is too much of a hassle."
DJ Masta BowChickaBowWow
I live in an on-campus apartment complex with 3 other guys. To cut costs, we have 2 per room, with 2 rooms for the 4 of us. We just needed one guy to fill the room, so we went potluck and got some random guy that rooms with me. So, for the entire second semester, I've been "accidentally" leave things up on my monitor. It started with the Wikipedia page for "schizophrenia", and various relaxation techniques. I started to print out these documents, and made sure to leave around pages like "Managing Your Anger", and "Dealing With the Voices". Finally, I made sure to leave out long documents about unsolved murders, with notes and highlights all over them. I've since started whispering to myself when he's around, just loud enough so he can hear choice parts about "stabbing" and "shovels". I'm really not sure what I expected to get out of this, but my roommate's been losing a lot of sleep lately, and never stays in the apartment during waking hours. Sorry, I'm just an ass.