It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 8 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
Hey Jessie, remember how you used to eat my food, constantly bring guys home, get drunk on weekdays, and make fun of my acne even though you know I'm incredibly insecure about it? I wash my face 3 times a day and I have to work at a fast food place to pay the bills. You sleep in makeup you wore out to frat parties the night before and spend all your parents' money. I would've been content to just let you be a bitch till our 3rd roommate (who luckily also hates you) told me about YOUR plan to wash the toilet with my toothbrush in an unoriginal attempt to prank me. Well, I decided some retaliation was in order. First just small stuff, nothing worthy of collegeghumor. Until now. You wanted to get the typical asian character tattoo and came to me (I'm an Asian studies major and know Chinese and Japanese) for the Chinese characters for "beautiful woman". Wow. So I decided to make your bland, shitty, narcissistic tattoo a bit more unique. I hope you enjoy being branded as a "big prostitute" for the rest of your life. Everytime you walk around with your perfectly toned, tattooed midriff showing I smile knowing that brains won over beauty this time. Bitch.
Kelsey from WSU
Hey roomie. I just wanted to you know that every time you chew with your mouth open, jump in my bed and cuddle with me and my boyfriend, or put the dirty silverware back with the clean stuff, you get a little spit in your milk or peanut butter. Revenge really does taste sweet, doesn't it?
You rarely clean the bathroom or kitchen, and you spend all your time in the living room being obnoxious even though you should be spending more time in your room. You can't sing- face it, you can't even play guitar, I don't know why you do. All your friends only are your friends because they want pot or because you're easy. You constantly ask my friends for rides even though you just met them. I finally got fed up with you leaving a mess everywhere and never cleaning up after yourself. While I was cleaning the bathtub (because you did a shitty job of cleaning the apartment before spring break anyways), I squeezed the mildew-infested sponge from the (now clean) bathtub into your "Feminine Hygiene Wash." Good luck trying to get rid of that upcoming vaginal infection, you dirty ass girl. PS. I also scrub the toilet with your toothbrush when I'm pissed off at you leaving shit and period drip marks everywhere.
E. S. from UC Riverside
So I am a college student currently serving in Operation Enduring Freedom at Bagram Air Field, Afghanistan. My wife is currently stationed over here too. We basically live in "dorm rooms" made out of conexs. I had two roommates at the time. When I thought they had just left to go to the PX/Gym, my wife was over. I was the last one in the room so I got stuck on the top bunk. Well my wife didn't want to do anything up there so let's just say we used the bottom bunk. Now my roommate wasn't a bad guy, but it had been nearly 2 months since i'd gotten any from her. We did it quite a few times, but one day after we had just finished and gotten our uniforms back on, my roommates got back. We told them we were just sitting on the one's bed to watch a movie. He wasn't the wisest to what we had really been doing. I don't think he ever noticed the spot of dripage or figured it was his own stain. Sorry battle, but a guy has needs.
SPC Red_Bull from Bagram Air Field (ISU-Senior)
My roommate is an absolute bitch. I could write about all the things she's said and done to me (and oh my god she is a such a moocher) but instead I'm just going to tell you the fun I had:
1. First of all, bitch, that infection you had in your mouth is not "hand foot and mouth disease." It's from me using your toothbrush to clean the toilet. 2. Secondly, the reason you keep getting diarrhea is not because you are lactose intolerant, like I made you believe. It's because I keep putting powdered laxatives in your coffee.3. You begged me to call the school infirmary for your test results about the "bumps" on your you-know-what. I only enjoyed it because, guess what, you don't have a benign cyst. You have chlamydia. I can't believe you slept around with FOUR different guys and never used a condom!! Serves you right. Don't you EVER call my boyfriend the n-word again.
My roommate likes to drink my milk, she has yet to buy milk this year she just keeps drinking my milk, but what she doesn't know is that when I buy the milk I drink out of the jug. There's a reason she's sick
I have mono.
My roommate is kicking me out for absolutely no reason except that she got tired of me being there. She apparently thinks that me being upset with her is misdirected because I found a note she had written all about how I have anger management problems. My friends all laugh because I am such an even tempered person, so just to mess with her, I started slamming doors, giving death glares at her, etc. I have to hold back my laughter when she runs from the room.
My roommates never make new ice cubes when they finish the tray and I got sick of always being the one to make new ones, not that its that hard of a thing to do. After a semester of putting up with this, I decided to start drinking a lot of water so I could piss clear and mix it into the tray. With every batch of ice I make I mix more and more of my piss in with the water. I'm up to about 3/4 water, 1/4 piss now. I've stopped using ice since then and they have no clue. The best part is they think our water filter is getting old because of how funny the ice has been tasting lately. Hope my piss tastes good lazy assholes.
Submit yours here!