It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 8 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
I have a roommate who always borrows my external hardrive to get movies off it, and I would be fine with this if he just copied them, but he cuts them out of the folder so they are not on the hardrive any more. So I got a movie he wanted to watch (40 Year Old Virgin) and about 10 minuts in I spliced in some "objectional" footage. When he went home he watched it with his parents. Boy were they surprised
Yesterday morning I had to pee really bad but my brother was in the bathroom so I peed in my trash can, not realizing it would leak through the plastic grocery bag lining. Not wanting my room to reek of piss, I moved the grocery bag containing half my piss into the bathroom's trash can and dumped the remainder of piss at the bottom of my trash can in the toilet. Well I guess it leaked out all over the bathroom's trash can because the next morning my mom was yelling at my little brother to clean the trash can. I felt bad but I didn't want to own up to it because who wants to admit to peeing in a trash can? They'll never suspect me because I'm a girl. Sorry Mike.
My fraternity brother Adam and I were bored one day and decided to fuck with my roommate Bender. Our initial idea snowballed to the point where we ended up turning his bathroom into a pretty sweet aquarium. Adam went out and bought like 3 dozen goldfish while I filled up Bender's bathtub, sink, and a trash can and a set up about 50 tea candles everywhere. We emptied all the goldfish into everything (including the toilet) and after I applied finishing touches with a bunch of bushes I ripped out in front of our apartment building, I downloaded the soundtrack to The Life Aquatic and put it on loop in his bathroom until he came back from class. He wasn't that pissed until all the fish died within like an hour. It smelled like a fisherman's taint for about a week.
Todd B. from High Point University
Over the past two years, I've been unfortunate enough to be forced to live with some pretty awful girls, but this one takes the cake. This semester I get a knock on my door and was greeted with "Do you do meth?" (Not "hi" or "I heard you were looking for a roommate"
) Against my better judgement I let her live with me. She was a slutty, fat, white girl who acted like she was 'from the block'. Even though she worked at a Bible camp, I've walked in on her going down on three different guys (I don't want to think who else she was with when I WASN'T there).I was sick of her attitude and unhygienic sluttery so I spent the majority of my time (often a week at a time) at my boyfriend's apartment
but whenever I was home, she would complain that I don't give her enough space (aka alone time with her boy toys). After months of passive-aggressiveness, I finally decided enough was enough. As I was packing up my aquarium to go home for the summer, I poured the dirty fish water into her 2-liter bottle of Coke. I thought it poetic for someone who couldn't keep her nasty legs closed.
Allison from Shippensburg University
Dear "best friend", we've been hanging out for twelve years now and I've gotta say; you always got on my nerves. If we ever had an argument, you would get your mother to ring mine and shout at me until I apologized. Well, let me get to the point. Remember how last year, you turned all of our friends against me and left me alone in college with no one to talk to for months? I do. I also remember that, at the time, you were totally in love with Conor, but he broke your heart an hour before your birthday party. Oh you loved me then, because I was the only person that would drink with you until you felt better. Of course, what you don't know is that about an hour after the drink got too much and you fell asleep at seven pm, I was at his house having sex pretty loudly. And we're still together now. Karma's a bitch hun, but you gotta remember; so am I. Love you!
I was in a drawing class with a couple of my friends last semester. One of whom would always criticize everyone else's work by saying disparaging comments that weren't constructive at all. They got to the point were they were just quite mean. He's one of my good friends, but the others and I couldn't take it any longer. We decided to mess with his still life (one of our major projects) by moving things around and adding things to it. We decided to call him to the drawing room so he could work on his project along with us. When he came and looked at his still life he flipped out. He was screaming in different personas too. He started yelling like a big black man, then a more gay than usual yell, and then he started combining the two (He's a white scrawny mildly effeminate boy in real life.) It was hilarious. At a certain point he stopped saying words and was muttering sounds instead.
Drawing 151 from Allegheny College
I understand that you want to be clean, but do you really have to shower for 3 hours strait. I really lost it when you actually fell asleep in there, and I needed to get you back. Just because you love to shower so much, guess what I put in the shower head, instant mashed potatoes. It was hilarious hearing you yell out loud in the shower and run outside, it was even more hilarious when you didn't know it was me
Luke Robertson from U of M
I didn't mind when you came to stay with us after you lost your job and house. After all, you are a good friend of my husband. I did mind that you constantly had my laptop and would just sit in my kitchen all day and bitch that no place would hire your felon ass. I got you a list of places that would hire you, and still you didn't get a job. I don't have a lot of money, and you would eat all the fruits and veggies meant for my son. You literally took food out of his mouth. You lived here for almost 2 years, and you've never paid for anything, even after you got a job and moved out. Well, I just want to let you know that the reason all of your pot plants have been dying is because I put vinegar in ALL of your chemicals and fertilizers. Next time you sponge off of someone, don't let them overhear you bitching about the people taking care of your dumb ass.
Submit yours here!