Carmen Sandiego could have made a lot of kids feel really stupid if she had just hidden in San Diego.
-Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit
"Party hard!" – caveman with Social Anxiety Disorder
-Alex Watt @AlexanderWatt
I'd like to meet the king whose only demand is four peanut-butter cups per package.
-Kevin Corrigan @KevinCorrigan
My weight loss plan isn't going so well. I've mowed down several gypsies with my Subaru, but no one has cursed me "thinner" yet.
-Wiseguy Pictures @WiseguyPictures
When in roam, do as the buffalos do.
-Daniel Krantman
What does a porn star eat on her birthday? Buk-cakey.
-Bryce Humphrey
Stockings are like condoms, they look weird, are uncomfortable, and are real "day ruiners" when they tear.
-Brendan H. Banks @Brendan_H_Banks