5. Navi (Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time)

It may be cheap to take shots at the little one. After all, she's just trying to be helpful. But pointing out the obvious isn't always the best route to take when you're trying to strike up a conversation with the fairer sex.

"LOOK!" I know, Navi, I see it. I noticed the spaghetti strap tank-top the second I walked into this joint. Stop trying to blatantly draw my attention to it mid-convo – it's hard enough keeping my gaze above the neckline when I have a few pints sloshing around in me. "HEY! LISTEN!" I got it, I'm trying to talk over here. Whose side are you on anyway?

And the worst part? You can't get rid of Navi by shouting "I don't believe in fairies". Trust me, I've tried.

4. Kratos (God of War)

No one likes a show off. And a battle-scarred Spartan that waltzes into the bar with his rippling biceps and dramatically lamenting about his dead wife is the equivalent of being the single dad pushing a stroller in the local park on "Mommy & Me Day". You'll never stand a chance.

Not to mention, the white-washed bastard has like three drunken orgies during the work week. On a Tuesday. Before breakfast. Who can complete with that?

Hey Kratos. Take a hike and leave some for us. Oh, and put a shirt on, dude.