My girlfriend likes it when i talk dirty to her during sex (calling her a whore or whatever). However, after we are done she yells at me for all the things I said and gets all insulted although during she openly asks me to call her these things
ugh women eh?
So my male friend and I like to meet up and make out and dry hump with our pants on. I never really thought much about why he never wanted to do more but i didn't push. However we were together this afternoon and I ended up giving him a handjob. After he tried rubbing me through my pants and I told him to go down there if he wanted. He confessed he'd never fingered anyone and I had to give instructions the entire time including where everything was! It was very odd and when I had finished he looked at me and goes, "I find you more attractive with clothes on. Lets not do that again."
One time while my girlfriend was giving me oral, I got too into it and began thrusting while she was going up and down. Apparently my timing wasn't too good because after a few thrusts I accidentally thrusted right into her tooth, cutting the hole on my tip.
A little over a month ago my boyfriend and I were staying at my mom's for a couple days while we were in town. Since my brother still lives at home and they only have a two bedroom apartment my boyfriend and I had to sleep on the couch, which really wasn't too bad. Well we were laying on the couch watching a movie and it was pretty late, both my mom and brother were in bed asleep and I started to feel a little frisky. We started fooling around and ended up having sex. Right as I was about to climax my mom came in the living room, completely oblivious as to what was going on, and started asking us how we liked he movie cuz she'd seen it and really liked it. Apparently she had woken up to use the bathroom and heard the movie still playing and assumed we were still up. She still has no idea what she walked in on, how mortified I still am over the whole thing, or why my boyfriend laughs anytime she mentions the movie.
My boyfriend and I recently broke up. When we were dating, I was always talking about how hot break up sex would be. And so we did it the next day. It was the first time in our whole year and a half of dating that we finished at the same time. We should break up more often.
My ex girlfriend had a problem. Every time we tried to have sex her "lady parts" would literally smell like she forgot to wipe. Being completely turned off by this I would always fail to get it up. I blamed it on ED since i didn't have the courage to tell her she smelled bad. After we broke up she told everyone about my "ED" problem. I tried to be the nice guy, FML!
Once, I was having sex with my (ex) boyfriend. we were both very into it and being a little "dirty"! I turned around and bent over for some "doggie-style" and he starts to laugh! Evidently, I had a piece of toilet paper stuck in my butt cheek! Lets just say he tried to keep going and I lost any and all interest!
When my girlfriend and I get into fights or arguments, we lick one another on the face as a disgusting attack.
My boyfriend and I were lying in bed and our clothes were scattered around the floor. All of a sudden his little sister runs in the room, grabs my bra, and runs out screaming "look at this!" His parents were thrilled, I'm sure.
This week's "Your story is obviously fake and doesn't make any sense. What do you mean you were -basically- in the kitchen? Were you or were you not? Secondly, why would you ever look at that man in the eye again? Wasn't he just a hired worker for your girlfriend's dad?" award goes to:
One time my girlfriend was sucking my dick..right on the floor.. basically in the kitchen
and just as im about to bust a nut some guy her dad hired to do work on the house walked in
we made brief eye contact as i came. He somehow didnt see what was going on, but needless to say i cant look at him anymore