Back in the 80's I drove a brightly colored Porsche 911. The town in which I lived was very small and tight knit at the time, and the Porsche stuck out like a sore thumb. The local Sheriff's department had been harassing me for weeks over ridiculous speeding tickets when I was pulled over for perhaps the fifteenth time. I had been watching my speedometer since I had noticed a cop behind and at most I was doing 2 mph over the speed limit. When the officer approached I told him that I was barely over the speed limit. He smirked, acknowledged that fact, and wrote me a ticket. Fed up to the point of screaming, I began following the cop as he drove down the road. Noticing that he was doing at least 10 mph over the limit, I began flashing my brights at him. Finally he pulled over, visibly agitated, and asked me what he could do for me. I told him that he had been speeding and that I was making a citizen's arrest. I called the police and enjoyed my victory as he fumed on the hood of his cruiser.-Tuan
My parents were out of town, so it was up to me to chauffer my brother around to his many after-school classes. After dropping him off at the mosque for one of said classes, I remembered that I had to feed the fish back home. So I turned the car around and floored it, blasting Marilyn Manson in the process. I fed the fish and again floored the accelerator on my way back to pick my brother up. Still blasting Marilyn Manson. In a hybrid SUV.I noticed some red and blue flashing lights behind me, but I figured it wasn't for me, so allowed him space to pass. He didn't, and I couldn't understand why. It wasn't until I pulled into the mosque's parking lot and heard him belt over the loudspeaker to stay in the car that I realized I was getting a speeding ticket. He walked up next to me and I rolled down the window."Young lady, are you suicidal? Are you aware that you were going 70 in a 45 zone IN THE CITY?"I was too scared to pull out my joke Jack Sparrow pirate license. So I played dumb and got slapped with a ticket. While the entire community watched.They had all come out, terrified, because there was a cop car with flashing lights in the parking lot.-F.H.
When I was 14 years old me and my friend thought it was a great idea to take advantage of the crappy security at the local Target and help ourselves to pockets full of goodies. When I was walking out the door they stopped us and took us back to the security room. Well we had a ton of junk, and they called the Police to haul us off. 30 days latter I had a court date, and my mom got an attorney since she was sure I was going to jail. The attorney was looking over the ticket and it stated that we stole "stuff", and he asked me what it was that I took. I informed him that I forgot what I took, and it was just a bunch of random stuff. When we were called to the stand, the attorney asked the prosecuting attorney what we had taken, and he said "stuff". Our attorney told the judge that he could not defend us for stealing "stuff" and the prosecution attorney also said he could not prosecute for stealing "stuff". The judge decided to dismiss the case, since he could not charge me for stealing stuff, and there was no evidence to charge us on. Good thing the crappy security at Target couldn't take the time to write down more than "stuff".-Adam
Me and my wife of three days had to wait a week for our apartment to become available, so we were living with her parents for the first week. One night we found an old bumpy road to drive down for some newly wed activities. Two minutes later a collage cop comes flying down the road like the Dukes Of Hazard. He comes running up to the windows and starts asking questions, then looks at my young looking wife and asks her if her mom knows were she is. She tells him that she didn't wait her mom to find out what we were up to, so no she didn't. The wanna-be cop insists on calling her mom. When he finally got her on the phone, and finds out we just got married, he was more than embarrassed, and told us to have fun, and wished us good luck.-Joey
About a year ago, I was throwing a party at my place when a cop walks into the backyard. At this point there are about 75 empties on the table in front of me and the last few people at the party. The officer asks to see our IDs and promptly ask who does the beer belong to? Not wanting my friend to get in trouble I took claim over all the beer and claimed to have drank them all. The cop then leads me out front to his car and questions me for 30 minutes. Finally he tells me he will be writing me a ticket and handed me a piece of paper. I found out the next morning that it was my neighborwho works as a dentist.-Blake