5. Dwight Schrute – "The Office"

How many assistant to the regional managers do you know who moonlit as a volunteer sheriff deputy, eBay powerseller, and beet farmer? Answer: none. Unless you are an acquaintance of Dwight K. Schrute's, then the answer is one. Dwight's one-upmanship gives him a reputation as a real loser around the office, but ask any of the fine ladies who have had the pleasure of being "Schruted" and they'll tell you he's a real champion in the sack. Something Michael Scott would be quick to congratulate him about, if he wasn't too concerned with his own life to care.

4. Brian Griffin – "Family Guy"

He is the talking dog whose wit is the only thing drier than his martinis. This ritzy rover is the second most intelligent character on the show, narrowly beaten by a baby. He is an avid writer, patron of the arts and member of Mensa. In case you do not think that is impressive, he also has opposable thumbs.

3. Barney Stinson – "How I Met Your Mother"

The "suited up" womanizer to Ted Mosby's sad sack hopeless romantic, Barney is a well-to-do businessman and self-proclaimed guy who "likes to create crazy situations and then sit back and watch it all go down." Commitment isn't his strong suit, but rest assured, he will do whatever it takes to make sure his best bros are taken care of—even if it means going to New Jersey. Barney's caddish antics, bon mots, and strict adherence to the "Bro Code" certainly make him a legen—wait for it—dary sitcom sidekick.

2. Christopher Turk – "Scrubs"

Turk AKA Brown Bear AKA Chocolate Bear AKA Super Chocolate Bear is a surgeon at Sacred Heart Hospital. When he is not saving lives and choosing the best ringtones, he is hanging with his pal, J.D. Best friends since college, these two often come together to form "the multi-ethnic Siamese doctor."

1. Milhouse Van Houten – "The Simpsons"

Liked by few and respected by none, Milhouse Van Houten is an amalgam of every dork, dweeb, and dingus you ever went to school with. The recipient of innumerable noogies, wedgies, and swirlies, he is the unlikely accomplice to Springfield's favorite little Hell raiser, Bart Simpson. Despite the overt signs of loserdom, "The House" appears to be pretty content with being the little wiener he undoubtedly is. In other words, as far as this poindexter sees it, everything's coming up Milhouse for Milhouse.