It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
My friend recently started going out with another member of our group. Near the start of term we had all noticed the chemistry between the two of them so we bet her that she would end up sleeping with him before the end of term. Whenever we brought up the bet she would refuse to pay it and jokingly we would warn that if she didn't pay there "would be consequences." Now her new boyfriend is fond of saying "if that's what you're into" so one day while bored we decided to write the phrase on hundreds of sheets of paper. We waited until she had left her room in the student accommodation we live in and then climbed in her window (she lives on the third floor.) Once inside we covered every single surface we could find in these notes. Her walls, her wardrobe even her windows so her room was trapped in a weird kind of half-light. When she came back she back it was quite late so her room was really dark. Her scream when she turned on the lights made all the effort worth it. She still hasn't paid us though
When I was a freshman in highschool I would occasionally get my brother who had a car to go off campus and get me fast food. Normally the deal was that he would get a buck or two for his trouble, but one time he decided to give me back six dollars out of a twenty for a seven dollar meal. Alright, asshole move, but what really pissed me off was whenever I would complain about it on the ride home he would ONLY reply with "bury the hatchet" while his dickhead friend would snicker and parrot "you gotta bury the hatchet bro." Next time I had the house to myself I took the large loose change jar that he had been building up for about 4-5 years and emptied, sorted, counted (almost a hundred bucks), and then stashed in 3 plastic baggies in the best hiding places around my room. Lastly I returned the change jar back to his room with a small note at the bottom that read: HATCHET BURIED MOTHERFUCKER.
My and 2 of my friends meet these 3 girls at a bar and at the end of the night they ask us to come back to their house. We are thinking its get laid time on the way there. When we walk into their house the girls start arguing about something and one of the girls storms out of the house and the other starts being a bitch and goes in her room and slams the door. While one of my friends is making out with the only remaining girl on the couch me and my other friend start to get bored. We decide to poop in the upper tank of toilet. My friend goes in and does his business and I follow and do mine. The logistics of this was quite difficult. I also pee in their trashcan and wipe my ass with their tooth brushes before I wiped. We took pictures as evidence of our incredible story. A few weeks later I see these girls out againat a bar. One of them comes up to me and starts cussing at me saying that they spent $250 on a plumber to come out because they thought something was wrong because it smelled so bad. I immediately started laughing and she goes on to say how she couldnt believe we shit in the top tank of her toliet and how the plumber had to replace the tank because the shit had stained it so bad and the smell made them all sick. A few minutes later The bartender taps me on the shoulder and says to me "drinks are on me tonight, thats the funniest shit I have ever heard"! If you want to get someone back pull an Upper Decker!
Before I lived in the apartment I do now, I lived on campus with three obnoxious, loud, morons. The worst was the guy who lived next to me. He was the loudest of them all, he never cleaned up after himself, leaving me to do it along with everybody else's mess, and would stay up late every night either with his girlfriend or screaming into his xbox. The guy played more video games than I did (and me being a massive nerd, that is saying something). Anyway, after this persisted all year (winter and fall semester) I warned him the next time he kept me up until three in the morning arguing with his girlfriend on speaker phone or having sex with her with the door open I would make him pay. He didn't believe me, so a week later he was back on the phone talking to his girlfriend, so I popped some popcorn, pulled the chair in to hallway and proceeded to sit outside his doorway for about an hour until he came out in to the hall to piss, it scared the hell out of him. I laughed for thirty minutes straight.